Imagine my surprise, when I checked my 'Feed burner' stats yesterday (This is the 'enter-you-email-address-and-i'll-make-little-deposit-in-you-Inbox-in-the-middle-of-the-night-or-depending-on-your-timezone-maybe-daytime?)
Anyways, it seems like your taking to my writings/muses/rants is a bit like bananas being distributed to my work colleagues, and I’ll get to that later.
Well anyways, quite a lot of pee-pol (no pole dancers) have elected to 'take up this service', which would seem to indicate, something is working, something clicked in me or 'them' (that’s you reader, please read this!!)
So, it encouraging, maybe one day I’ll be famous and I’ll have some guy from the Sunday World take pictures of me while I’m in a cubicle, trying to send a friend to the sea, if you get me?
So, now bananas and I’ll skip informing you about how one of the worlds biggest banana companies was funding a war in South America , none of that, not now, i'm on a mission here!!
No, what I want to tell you is...Animal behaviourist, listen up. Some say there is a slight difference between monkeys and humans, 1.5 %, but what they wont tell you is this, humans and monkeys are 98.5 % SIMILAR (do the math yourself, if you dont believe me)
Where is it most evident? Why the consumption of bananas, they go very rapidly here. One thing I learnt from my time in South America , of all fruit a monkey will eat, it will get the banana first, this is very similar in my place of work, sometimes place of idleness?
Let me explain, a box of fruit gets delivered in the morning, and people come swinging in from somewhere, it's like a swinger party, they may or may not look for fleas on each other, take all the bananas and disappear (sadly, readers, I’m part of this demographic too) and then it would appear, the thing to do is retreat you your desk and continue with composing works, that Shakespeare would have been envious of.
This is true for 98.5 % of the people I work for, except for one guy. He buys is own bananas, and then he leaves it get ripe on his desk, so much so, I feel consumed with the desire to have to relieve him of the burden of my consuming ambition to consume, his food of the gods.
I cant see anything here about not eating a banana, that you didn't buy yourself, do you?
Which would make you wonder, obviously this guy is highly evolved, a Charlton Heston of his era?
So, i put this question to the black sheep of our office,
His response was
You might be aware that there is a 1.5% between monkeys and humans?
In my mind there is a 98.5% similarity between these 2 strange species, on this level anyways, both will instinctively eat their banana?
You on the other hand, seem to be some sort of highly evolved 'new species', undiscovered?
I think in the interests of science, you should submit yourself for testing (please, don't tell them i sent you!!)
His response was
Hahahaha… youre right… ive rejected the banana… I should have myself checked out.
I am still throwing my poo though… so…
Not sure how far evolved I actually am.
Question, is where I fit in, in all of this?
I hope he doesn't call me an ape? I'm a human; it's the part I was born to play, well, sometimes?
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