Someone should show these people how an iPod shuffel works!!

You know if your an inventor, you want to invent something thats useful, never been done before, creative, intelligent.

I suggest someone show Bolivians how an iShuffle works!
I find it hard to believe how anybody (to the point of laughter) can listen to the same song all fuckin day. Oh god is there no end to this madness. I heard about the US army playing playing certain artists to prisoners in Guantanamo bay (i spelled it right the first time!!)

Check out the Metallica comment!!!!!!

The proponents of torture by music doubtless think they have come a long way since the early 1990s, when the FBI blasted loud music at the Branch Davidians during the Waco siege in Texas. The repertoire then included Sing-Along With Mitch Miller Christmas carols, an Andy Williams album and These Boots Are Made for Walking by Nancy Sinatra.

However unpleasant it may be to have such tunes blasted at your compound, bringing the music into an enclosed interrogation cell was a quantum leap in psyops. Nonetheless, in the strange lexicon of 21st-century America, the US military calls this "torture lite". Torture is apparently OK if it is not too "heavy".

Metallica's Enter Sandman has been played at cacophonous levels for hours on end in Guantánamo Bay and at a detention centre on the Iraqi-Syrian border. One Iraqi prisoner said it was done at "an unidentified location called 'the disco'".

Unfortunately, some artists are not offended by their work being used to torture. "If the Iraqis aren't used to freedom, then I'm glad to be part of their exposure," James Hetfield, co-founder of Metallica, has said. As for his music being torture, he laughed: "We've been punishing our parents, our wives, our loved ones with this music for ever. Why should the Iraqis be any different?" Such posturing may go with the territory for an artist of the Metallica genre, so there is no need to speculate about whether Hetfield is being naive or wilfully ignorant. But no sane person voluntarily plays a single tune at earsplitting volume, over and over, 24 hours a day, and expects to stay sane.

They do it here too, so much that every song sounds the same (this is why i think they throw in a bit of Iron Maiden to their Disco mixes. It´s funny how Gringos are very fineky about their music, here, they can listen to the same song all day.

Songs that are western are covered by locals, so the locals think it´s their song and culture.



I heard the best recording studio in La Paz has the best drum machine you can buy, but they dont know how to use it. I´m thinking did it come with instructions? Can anyone read?

But is this a quality to be admired, to be able to listen to the same song all day, after all in G. Bay, this is how people are tortured, are Bolivians super humnans or are they Dum Dums in the old music department?

I´ll take the music in Argentina any day.

You should get out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini

Volunteers in La Senda Verda


Got to Tocaño, i´m doing my part. What is my part again? If i was an actor, i would have some Karoke screen telling me what to say, some quotes come to mind, let me share them with you, the informed reader (thats you yea big eejit)

Politician who gave a speech was questioned about something he said, he said ´I didn´t write that´, fair enough, he was probably telling the truth, and that can be a good thing!

A review of an actor ´He was natural and gifted on stage, it was only when he was off stage was he acting´

1 and a half year old Arouma
Feeding time at the zoo


Back to Tocaño, let me tell you about it, it has 30 family's, it´s another place that has political meetings that go on all fuckin day and you´d better sit through their 5 hour meeting or else bad things will happen, thats what it´s like in Corico anyways, so i dont see how it would be any differnt here.

Since the government is decentralized in Bolivia (this would seem like a good thing). If you have a problem, the guy to see is down the road, yes, but if that guy is power hungry, ignorant and uneducated, it could be a real fuck up, if you have land , not so if you breeze in and out, like me (and i´m like me)

Some old woman that lost her leg didn´t go to their meetings, so they too her land off of her.

Some old man used a part of land that wasn´t his for years, so they took his land off of him, he was in his 80´s, it goes on.

It´s not all peaches and cream for some, for me it´s Peaches and cream, who ate all the fuckin ice-cream!!

Back to Tocaño

One of the owners Marsellas


I dont know anymore, i just got here, the african drumming will start later. I could make stuff up, you would´t know the difference. I could play god, i could create hills and Casinos and bring Dinosaurs back to life, they would use Politicans as tooth picks, and about time too!!)

And since you read it all, it would exist in your mind. But i´m not going to playing with nature (what are the rules?), so i´ll leave it alone.

Now i´m off to check out some Dinosaurs and put $20 on black, i read soewhere that have all that stuff here somewheres.

I feel a change........

I know it sounds crazy and since everyone i meet tells me i´m crazy, let me tell you, i feel transformed, i do.
But let me give you some context. I came home to Ireland August 06 and i went back to Oz after 3.5 weeks.

I decided to grace Joanne with my absence, in a permanent sort of way and i came home. One year after traveling, i was thinking about having to go back to work, and i was having panic attacks, then i ended up in Mexico after following in the footsteps of Jack Kourack´s ´On the road´ as my inspiration + much more, i got to Puerta Villarta, i couch surfed.

It was getting close to my birthday, i was hanging out in P.V. to give my skin some of the healing salt water for my psoriasis skin problem (no other kind of water would do, not even water blessed by the pope)



I met a lady (a grandmother from LA with an art gallery) and she told me if i was a Pisces i should be doing art, and there was classes on near and i did.

So one fine day i went to Yelapa and met a chick on the beach who told me the parties were wild at the yacht club. I went back to P.V and i walked along the beach seeing if i could talk to anyone. I met some Canadian´s and we played a bit of soccer and we came up the beach and lo and behold it was the chick that Chaz (the beach hustler) was talking the day before.



Chaz kept telling me she was his girlfriend and i only came over because he called me over, and he´s a dangerous guy! I didn´t stay long, he was just out of jail for fighting again.

That was about 1 year ago, Tom Robbins cites relationships can fulfill or transform you, looking back i can see i got both, but i can safely say the person herinafter referred to a D. really did transform me and i was very happy, and my parents don´t think i´m gay anymore, bisexual maybe, gay no (but i do like me nails painted, a little color on the street never hurt anyone)

My mother cooks burritos now too because of D, a miracle indeed, D was a great influence on everyone, especially me (i wasn´t as crazy as before i´m told)

And i´m a better person because of it all, the good and especially the bad.

I´ve given up smoking,i´m much healthier and content and not incontinence. Anyways, i feel the change and that was the whole point of traveling for me, to get here, and i´m not finished yet.



p.s.
Although i´m reminded of a repeating like in Mark Twains ´Is he dead´, ´Dont worry, it gets worse´

p.s.s

And i´ve done everything i set out to do and i havent been to Machu_Picchu + Brazil yet

Change was a good thing, i even wanted it, and i thought of this

Crazy Penis - Change

The spider monkeys are at it again!!

Argentineans must be the easiest people in the world to hang out with, it goes without saying, if they are eating, your eating, drinking, your drinking, having sex? Er, i dont know about that one, maybe you can listen at the door, maybe, maybe not?

All the Argentineans i meet make jewellery and are sleeping in tents, the 2 guys i met at the African music festival are in my tent, bought in Argentenia, but it rains too much here to use a tent, but if your broke and you have to make a few thousand knots to pay for a hotel room, tent it is.

And those spider monkeys keep doing that rain dance!!!


Interesting fact, which might be interesting, but not nessicarly true anyway he wrote ´If you teach a spider monkey to masterbate, he will do it until he dies´

No one taught me how to do it, is that the reason i´m still alive?

Late night emails, closure

I want to publish this again just so there is closure between myself and Diana, she has moved on and i know whoever she is now with probably doesn't know how lucky he is, i hope she is very happy and that she gets everything she deserves in life, and we had a lot of laughs along the way.

But now we´re best friends, it a new chapter and hopefully the best is yet to come, knowing D. has helped me tremendously and i hope i have someway helped her too.

And she´s still in my top 20 favorite girls of all time :)
I will stop there.

-------------------------------------
Originally Published 1/11/08

So i sent Diana an email late one night expression interest in moving to Canada.

To be fair, i dont know how she has stuck me, but since something clicked in my head and Diana is the only girl for me and she wants kids and she is the only woman i would have kids with. I knew this when i first met her.

She is coming down to see me in Buenos Aires to do a little traveling and hanging out, and i couldn't be happier.

I really missed sleeping + waking up next to her.

Diana is everything a person could be, no need to look elsewhere, exciting stuff, i'm looking forward to being with her + being a better human being.


Haven't been doing much traveling, just hanging out in Palmer, Santi and Carolinas apartment.
There's an endless stream of people going in and out, it's like a bar.

So now i'm looking forward to seeing the wonderful Diana, now i have everything straight in my head, everything should be Peachy!!!

When we wake up + go to sleep together. I'm actually looking forward to playing board games + maybe a crossword or 2, Sudoku anyone?

Diana know's so many things, that i can learn from her head, a champion for putting up with me + my bullshit.

Something snapped in my head and i thought, she is the only woman i would have a kid with, on top of that she's beautiful, smart, artistic, fit, Patient, why did it take me so long to see what was right in from of me?

Am i stupid?

Vancouver is supposed to be very beautiful, i'm looking forward to this new chapter in my life, probably the most intelligent thing i have ever done, why did it take so long?

Exciting stuff, she want's kids too, with Diana it will be great experience, new city, new responsibility's, new challenges, with the girl of my dreams.

Looking good

I feel very lucky, now it's time to brush up on the romance side...............

There´s no place like home, where´s that Kieran?

Carbon the dog (its Spanish for asshole)



I read this recently
When being reproached for ingratitude, Jumo Kenyattha, a Kenyan of the Kikuyu tribe said ´I thank you for helping me how to think, but i reserve the right to determine how i think´

Check out scientist J.B.S Haldane

Feeding time at the zoo, locals call it the zoo


I thought this was good, talking about a guy that was very religious
But i could state without being charged with perjury that he said ´Good Christ´ in this instance.

Did i tell yea about the Welsh guy that has 2 W on his ass, one on each cheek, i wonder how the ´WoW´ looks, i can only imagine.

Life is going along swimmingly

La Senda Verda entrance


In the last blog entry i was on about Bastille day, i once read the siege was led by a guy from Waterford, believe it if yea like.

Oh, can you hear that outside? It´s rain, i know it´s the middle of the night, but do you know what? I dont have to out in the pissing rain to feed dogs. (sand flies have more sense than humans here, i´m with the sand flies, er... everybody hates sand flies?)

Now it´s pounding down and i´m safely tucked up in bed, the joy of being an adult is i an actually appreciate it all (and there is no school tomorrow!!)

There´s some fiesta on the next mountain with African drumming on Saturday night, i will be going with the Argentinean chicks (as long as we´re still friends)

Guinea fowl, the mother used to have some, she gave them to Fota as they were very noisy

I walked back tonight to the Sol Y Luna, the only downer about this place is it is a difficult walk at night.

But why didn´t you get a taxi or put a battery in your torch Kieran? Err... Look a moth a big hairy Japanese bastard!!

A battery has been located, the torch is good to go, i wont be making that mistake a second time, not here anyways.

To lighter news, went for a swim today, awesome, healthy me is feeling good, great views too, the best scenery so far in South America, so far,

La Paz, it can wait, i´ll be back, La Paz will be like a screaming baby in my head.

La Senda Verda


Parents of screaming babys don´t hear them, i will be abandoning La Paz. Do you want it? Cos you can have it, if you like! I´m gonna run to the hills, i´m already in the hills.

I´m still in bed, it´s still raining hard (the Argentinean chicks are in a tent) good night world (see what i mean? Perfect....for me)

Sol Y Luna, the arrival

Arouma the bear (There are only 1500 of these bears in the world, it´s more rare than a panda)


Got a ride from Vickey from La Senda Verda to Corico, she was surprised with me leaving. I told her i could not go out in the rain, she didn´t want to get involved and you couldn´t blame her, she has gringos out in the pissing rain feeding her animals, so anyways she invited me for a frappachino + we talked about her next business venture of a gringo run hostel which would be a cracker of a business, if she got the right gringo to run it for her, it would be a perfect break from La Paz, Drinking, drugs to peace and quiet a huge swimming pool.

So, knowing i like swimming, she recommended a hostel called ´Sol Y Luna´, it´s got 2 pools, none are big enough to do laps, or back flips, so i will be going to the village to swim in the pool there (it´s all part of my new healthy lifestyle, i´ve made the choice, but how long can it last?) and it´s got an amazing view too!!

So i was singing ´In the garden of Eden´ from the Simpsons the whole time


Jimmy´s head reminds me of Sneachta


Anyways i´ve arrived in paradise, the garden of eden would be just like this (i cant believe they didn´t call it that) and there are snakes here too, naked chicks? No, not out in the open anyways, i will try and not be tempted, but how long could that last?

Indulgence will be mine!!
In Chile they say, ´Give in to all the vices´, and why not?

Since original sin is already here, what could happen if i listened to a snake? And there are poisonous ones here too!

Yesterday at La Senda Verda they chopped off the head of a snake, St Patrick would have been proud, off with the Diamond backs head!!



Note to reader: Since St Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland, he was a regular anti-Steve Irwin, sent to piss off all the snakes and since there probably wasn´t any snakes here anyways.

In the first place, there was an Ice age in Ireland, Wolly Mammoths (hairy elephants) bears, wolves yes, slimy snakes who liked hot weather, no! Cant believe that, just another tall tale by some Irish guy probably with some Americans in the audience.

Hey I´m Irish, except all my stuff is true (and if you believe that you should also check out god, the American dream, Santa Clause, i´m just like Amazon.com when i comes to recommending stuff)

In the second place, there is no second place, it´s only a story and in third place, no one remembers who comes in second place, except for Brian Boy Dando.

Arouma, i see you!!!


Anyways it was Bastille day (Anna from France said it was on the 18th Feb, but it´s actually 14th July 1789) for snakes and the guy who did the chopping speaks French, his girlfriend is French, viva la revolution or what ever they say in France, probably ´No smoking here´ (in a snooty accent) But i am French!! I think my mothers grandfather was French.

Now stop reading lies no one else would publish and check out some porn of something,if quantum physics has taught us anything it´s that by observing things we can influence their outcome, if this works in the lab, i think it would work for porn, so do your bit and get observing, science more than ever needs you. so many questions are unanswered. So do it for Queen and country (If you dont have a queen, i had a queen once.



Some English says ´Oi mate, you dissin our queen of somfin´

I had a jack + Joker too, i felt like a winner and winners are grinners

Just check out the porn and do some observing, do experiment stuff (with a white coat), a white coat is important, how could a porn star take you seriously any other way, seriously?

Let me know of your ´ discovery's ´, and not the ones that end in ´bation´, yep just like amazon.com (...you think)

Rain rain, go away

So it´s been 2 weeks on, the spider monkeys were doing their rain dances again, they must of they look gangsta, Snoop Dogg style, anyways come the morning, it´s still raining hard again and i had a choice (truth of the matter is we all have choices
and some make the wrong choices all the time)

Anyways the choice was go feed some animals in the rain and be an eco warrior volunteer, or not go out in the rain and not be a volunteer and pay full price, it was already twice as expensive as anywhere else.

I chose not to be a volunteer, i´m sure my mother would be proud, for once. The other eco warriors dont have a problem with the rain, is it any wonder thay have all been sick? But what would Dr Gregory House say? What would Brian Boy Dando do?
Should i have donned my birthday suit and braved the elements? Does my birthday suit still fit me?

I´ve had 2 weeks here anyways, i´ve taken all the photos anyone could take. I´m sure thats only %5 compared to the other wanna be photographers.

So it´s time to go back to La Paz + do the San Pedro prison tour. An english guy i met in Santiago in the red house hostel at Christmas told me there is a new tour in the maximum security prison for the rapists and murders, it´s a good place to buy and do drugs i hear.
Someone was telling me how a Canadian guy got caught with a gram and got 9 months, so it does have it´s drawbacks, you hear that kids?

Las Senda Verda
La Senda Verda

At the end of the "World's Most Dangerous Road" bikers going down with Gravity Assisted Mountain Biking and interest tourists can visit this animal refuge. There are close to 100 animals, including monkeys, parrots, coati, tortoise and even an Andean Bear. With proper guiding you can get into personal contact with almost all these animals. The place serves lunch for the bikers and is a hotel as well. They also accept volunteers.
More info: .

Anyways, i had my fun, learnt to do back flips in the pool, started swimming again, took lots of cool photos (even of the cats), i would highly recommend it, but not in the rainy season.

Sneachta is a legend, i think?

Letter from the mother

Sneachta was in a fashion show down in colista with sarah they were doing paris hilton with her chihuahua, he went down a treat. He was very bold he a right nobber he was mating with cloie and when he got stuck he was lying on his back on the ground because his legs were too short, and when she moved she was graging him around too.

I had to keep them apart and the howling of him, So cloie was in the run, and i had him on the extending lead that goes in and out he was tied to a sun chair in the garden, And what did he do next, he dug a hole into the run , still howling to get at her, had her in the back hall, and he went under the boards under the door tore the insulation off the pipes, what do u think of him now

He was worth every penny!!

May all you sons be Bishops

The title quote is Brenda Behan´s last words to a nun mopping the floor

And like cats this year, funny isn´t it? Whats wrong with me?


Steak idea
Fry steak, paste mix of Dijon + whole grain mustard on steak, put brown sugar on the mustard and put in the grill (until the sugar crystalises)

Gil from Portugal gave me his band address

He also likes Scratch Perverts

and Le Peuple de l´herbe and asian dub foundation



I was going to write something, but a Dutch chick said something and i was like, what! You want to paint me up? Dutch chicks, i´m on to them!!! The do have a sense of homour, that helps too!!

She didn´t paint me up, but she wore the pants in that relationship, but she did say she`painted up guys before (it´s a Dutch thing). Her boyfriend´s name was J, because his real name was unpronounceable and she was AKA Jenny for the same reason, I go by the name Ciarano AKA Whitebear AKA Blackjack (the street wise pimp)

Check out a book called ´The ginger man´, by JP Donleavy

When i go back to Melbourne, i will be able to do this dance! I will be the king of the dance floor, it will be one non stop Zoolander dance off



Wanna see more?

It´s no point beng Irish unless you know the world is going to break your heart

Jimmy


So, i was having a bit of a swim , Steve from England was trying his hand at the diving lark, he was making the easiest thing in the world look hard, which proves, if it´s worth doing, it´s worth doing wrong.

The Portugese guy, Gil, hereinafter referred to as the snake killer spawn of St Patric did a back flip, i´m doing laps, so sez i, i´ll do that, i was already wet, what could i possibly lose?

It took me 3 daze of doing this back flips to get the hang of it and landing feet first.

So if your reading this Kieran, after jumping backwards, tuck you knees in quickly, look back to the water.

You can do it put your back into it!!! I can do it put your ass into it!!

And it´s a good way to clear out your sinuses, every day i feel like i´m getting younger.

Adult Quati, i think, definately spelled incorrectly


I finished reading Malachy McCourt´s ´A monk Swimming´, it´s caled that because when he was a kid a prayer he used to say went ´...among women´, he would say ´a monk swimming´, just another example of the little thing´s i think about when i´m feeling a little blue, then i dont feel blue anymore, red, green, yellow and all the colors of the rainbow.

Musings of a madman

Stephen (from England) suggested the title after i read him one my little stories, it wasen´t even bed time!!!

Volunteering, what rhymes with Volunteering, is it nessicary to rhyme, check out my buddy Josh What rhymes with cahos?, I cant even make up any words for Volunteering. Is it the word or me, should i be doing something else that i can make words out of, like, i donno, ´Sitting on my ass´, all of a sudden i feel like playing scrabble and i´m getting flashbacks of that really bad wrestling in La Paz (that midget got pounded!!)

Ok, i can get ´ting´ out of sitting, i use that word often, to describe praticaly everything that doesn´t have a name in my head and there´s lots of things not in my head.

Hopefully if i fill my head with coffee, tings will get better, and they always do, tings, and it´s St Patricks day, a good excuse to misbehave, whats your excuse?

This monkey is called ´Cappuccino´ in spanish, in English, well, why do you think i wanted to learn Spaniah, Engrish failed me as a means of communication, throw it on the garbage heap i say!!

Late night emails, closure

I want to publish this again just so there is closure between myself and Diana, she has moved on and i know whoever she is now with probably doesn't know how lucky he is, i hope she is very happy and that she gets everything she deserves in life, and we had a lot of laughs along the way.

But now we´re best friends, it a new chapter and hopefully the best is yet to come, knowing D. has helped me tremendously and i hope i have someway helped her too.

And she´s still in my top 20 favorite girls of all time :)

-------------------------------------
Originally Published 1/11/08

So i sent Diana an email late one night expression interest in moving to Canada.

To be fair, i dont know how she has stuck me, but since something clicked in my head and Diana is the only girl for me and she wants kids and she is the only woman i would have kids with. I knew this when i first met her.

She is coming down to see me in Buenos Aires to do a little traveling and hanging out, and i couldn't be happier.

I really missed sleeping + waking up next to her.

Diana is everything a person could be, no need to look elsewhere, exciting stuff, i'm looking forward to being with her + being a better human being.


Haven't been doing much traveling, just hanging out in Palmer, Santi and Carolinas apartment.
There's an endless stream of people going in and out, it's like a bar.

So now i'm looking forward to seeing the wonderful Diana, now i have everything straight in my head, everything should be Peachy!!!

When we wake up + go to sleep together. I'm actually looking forward to playing board games + maybe a crossword or 2, Sudoku anyone?

Diana know's so many things, that i can learn from her head, a champion for putting up with me + my bullshit.

Something snapped in my head and i thought, she is the only woman i would have a kid with, on top of that she's beautiful, smart, artistic, fit, Patient, why did it take me so long to see what was right in from of me?

Am i stupid?

Vancouver is supposed to be very beautiful, i'm looking forward to this new chapter in my life, probably the most intelligent thing i have ever done, why did it take so long?

Exciting stuff, she want's kids too, with Diana it will be great experience, new city, new responsibility's, new challenges, with the girl of my dreams.

Looking good

I feel very lucky, now it's time to brush up on the romance side...............

Your ass is full of Spaghetti

Spider monkeys remind me of Snoop Dogg, fo shizzle.


In France, well, in France they have lots of things, they are very differnt to you or I (in fact most of them wouldn´t understand any of this, but i digress)

In France they have some interesting sayings, one of them when they say your lucky is ´Your ass is full of Spaghetti´, what would you expect from a nation that spends their idle moments making love with their faces? But i digress.

Chica (The pervert), howler monkey


Another saying is when someone buys a round of drinks, you say ´Cheers to the fuckin idiot who bought these drinks´, one time Anna (from France) said this and it was her dad that bought the drinks and he was sitting next to her!!

I met an english guy when i was swimming laps who i met in the Red house, in Santiago, he remembered me, it´s the the story of my life, that how it was in Sydney, every week someone, it was always a good experience and i somehow always made a good impression. After 5 minutes, i always managed to figure out how i met them, I digress, to nothing.

When the shortest answer is doing

Jimmy thinks he´s at a Rodeo
i was walking to the restaurant in La S.V. and i saw one of the parrots.

So with a slim cannon in my pocket, no bulges (Camera´s not mine but i did try buying one in NY, but thats already been reported) courtesy of Diana, i started the photo shoot, the bird is coming down to me and i put out my hand to take him, he goes to bite me, he´s not looking too happy.

It seemed to me what he was saying was ´Feck off out of here or i´ll bit yer finger off´, he didn´t look like he had much of a sense of homor.



Parrots are classic grumpy old men, except for Willey, this is why you need to take care of yer Willey.

But after talking to a local expert from Wales, where Parrots are abundant, lets call him Dave. Dave says ´Parrots test out branches with their beaks first to see how sturdy they are, maybe he was testing out your finger.

Well, if he was testing the finger, the finger failed that test, so now my body is failing test´s, is it any small wonder i´m still alive?

When i was a kid, my brain kept failing tests, now it´s the body, it´s slippy road.

And then i spent the rest of the day (pissing some people off) singing this song


And Dave should know after all, he´s from a place in Wales called ´Snowdonia´, sounds like a happy tropial place right? Err...actually, sounds like a place out of Harry Potter. :)

You need to look after you Willey, if you have one.

The Eels (Birds)


Willy everyones favourite parrot has a cough. Since he got his new house last week with the fencing to keep the Mac Caws from stealing his food, he has spent most of his time outside it.

I´m thinking maybe he wants to rent it out. He´s going in the bushes like he did before, maybe he needs to advertise it on Craigslist (Americas biggest pimp) or in the local newspaper? (I wont go on about literacy rates, but before coming back this morning, a local guy was looking at my notebook with awe, like it was the book of kells, i will admit it is good my notebook, it doesn´t have all the nessicary gold trimming)

Anyway Willey needs to move with the times, since he only eats bannana + corn and that is served to him 3 timse a day. What kind of financial incentives could ne possibly recieve by renting it out? The mind boggles, a bit of part time loving? Gotta think like a parrot and all of a sudden i feel like having some bananna and having my nalis painted again.

There´s never a Dutch chick around when you want one.

Want to know something interesting?

Met an English guy Steve, he´s been to college and everything, he probably went to all his classes and took notes and left a aple on his teachers desk (Steve if your reading this, i´m talking about another English)

Anyway he´s got a face like he´s been beaten 1 too many times with an ugly stick.

Isn´t the human mind a wierd device, this blog posting was going to be educational and informative, but it doesn´t make it untrue.

Anyways he was telling me about ´Dialectic´
Thesis, Antithesis = Synthesis (A+B=C)
Capitalist + Communist = Socialist (see Karl Marks)

And then i thought of it as Revelation, Revolution = Evolution

And then i thought it started off as a Revelation of coming to La Senda Verda for rehab, a sort of Revolution against the civil war that was going on in my body and mind, now i think i have evolved into Kieran Version 9.2.1.7, 2 weeks of clean living can do wonders, just look at me!!!

Getting vertical on a daily basis

WWF Bolivian style in La Paz

´Time is on my side, yes it is´ Was it from the Beetles? (i could do a google search, but i´d rather not know, gotta have a few little mysteries in my life)
Anyways the lyric is from a cider ad, this is all i know, Magners cider too, doesn´t matter how much time you have it still tastes like crap, i dont drink cider, i dont ´Do it´, if i did ´Do it´, it would ´Do me´, then it would be bed time (and i´ve just gotten out of bed)

I will leave the cider be.



Maybe time is not on my side, here i think there are 2 times, raining and not raining, when it´s not raining, i am an eco-warrior and saving the planet a regular Dr Dolittle, when it rains i see to somehow drop the Dr and just Do Litle, i am on strike, down tools and look out the window, just like when i was at school watching the birds come in to land (my teacher thought i´d have a promising career at the Airport)

Raining? I give the planet the gift of my absense, how i never tire of giving :)

In search of sin and wrong doing...........

Got some stories that i some times remind myself of, and it cheers me right up, so i thought i´d share them and maybe they could work for you too.

My favorite Dutch chick (she says she likes Irish guys, but i dont beieve her)


Dave from Wales has a buddy and he would meet tourists off of tourist buses and say to them in Welsh ´Does your husband have a small cock?´ in welsh, this worked for all the English tourists, until he got hit with handbag one day by a Welsh woman



One of Daves other friends (he´s a popular guy you know) was pouring beers in a bar, when in comes a hot chick (he said stunner) with a pretty ordinary looking guy, the bar tender says ´He must have a really big cock or a fast car´ in Welsh, later the stunner comes up and orders another round in perfect Welsh, the barman dissappeared.



I must say, fair fucks to the Welsh people, it would appear they know their language, in one of the last Irish census, something like (i´m being very scientific here) 10 percent of Irish people thought they were fluent in Irish, it´s more likley around 2%.

Sour, sweet, bitter, pungent, all must be tasted

Well enough of Chinese proverbs

Words from Nikita



Listen up kids

It was the Saturday before Paddys day and all through the night (night being the morning) not a creature was stirring (creature not stirring being parrots squawking incessantly) not even a mouse (a mouse being Jimmy the squirrel monkey)

Well it was that sort of day, not in so many words, and then.....

Met an Americano, she was telling me a story, it starts off

I heard, ´I met a man whore and he broke my leg´
She said, ´I fell in a manhole and i broke my leg´, so i suppose the moral of the story is if you encounter manholes and man whores do not cross them, makes sense i guess, or else someone brakes a leg, it´s still better than someone losing an eye, that can happen too, especially when there is fun and games envolved.

The Wild Rover, La Paz, too much fun


So if you ever see someone Male or Female with one eye and a broken leg, you could read the situation as they rubbed a man whore up the wrong way and had too much fun and games, but since we have parrots here at La Senda Verda, you could get an eye patch, get the wonkey leg chopped off, switch it for a wooden leg (wood is very cheap!!), stick the parrot on your shoulder (Willey the parrot i´m thinking?), find an old treasure map and ´Hey Presto´, your now a pirate on a treasure hunt. Exciting times we live in hey?

Witches market in La Paz

I really want to believe in reincarnation

A birthday present from the Finnish chick in Route 36, so i know how to spend the rest of my daze


Went out to clean the baby Cantuta´s cage, his name is Oseko, so i take him out and he´s around my neck making all these cool noises and down my coat, then Jimmy the squirrel monkey appears and starts to pull Oseko´s tail (a carefully worded Google search yielded no results for more information on Cantutas, must be my bad spelling again)

Well anyway Jimmy is basically fucking with him and getting a reaction, god how i love that squirrel monkey. I think i dont want to be reincarnated as a butterfly anymore. 1 squirrel monkey reincarnation for me please, i´m not sure if it is a higher reincarnation or lower, but i´m sure i´d be able to hump little kittens and give it to a Howler monkey (female) before going to sleep and some chicks ear, after a day of pissing off every animal in sight. This is what he does, he´s just doing his job!

They have youtube in Cork too, here check it out!!


If there is an animal version of Bender from Futurama, it´s a squirrel monkey, but the only drawback is since no one suspects the Butterfly and everyone suspects the squirrel monkey, how do i overcome this issue?

Maybe i´ll call myself ´Timmey´, thats a pretty innocent, butter wouldn´t melt in your mouth, wouldn´t harm a fly name.

There you go, case closed, i wanna be Timmey the squirrel monkey and after i´ve finished fucking with people in this form, i´ll be right back on the job as little Timmey (with an e) the squirrel monkey.

Birthday photos


So watch out world, i´m not finished yet, and when i am, i´m coming back, smaller, faster.....better?



Usual suspects

There is no difference between rich and poor, except poverty

Do you know what i thought to myself? I said i think i will write in a new pen. Black is the color of my true loves hair, not so true, but it is true for the pen, for those of ye tuning in online, maybe i will give you a font change, maybe not.

Sucre Swiss guys birthday drinking game


Got to play with the baby spider monkey ´Nina´ today, her last owners bought her, and had her in an apartment in La Paz, but as all monkeys, she got out of control, they even called her ´Martin´, not biology experts (can you see why i don't want to have to go to a doctor in Bolivia?)

I told one of the owners Vicky that so many women want baby's, i just want a baby spider monkey, they don't eat much and they are very quiet.

Now all i got to do is find out how i make a spider monkey (is it legal?) My dog Alf (RIP) was trying for years to make a dog/cat animal, at least he tried, most dogs wouldn´t even bother!

Spider monkeys have 4 fingers and 5 toes (it´s feet are very like a human hand) It´s got a wicked tail, pity my tail fell off thousands of years ago, it´s great for hanging on to things, but probably not so good for getting into night clubs, ´Sorry buddy, not tonight with that tail´.

If it´s not one thing, it would be another, maybe things is good the way things is, my bad grammar, spelling mistakes, font and color (black is not a color, but it is the color of some chicks hair)

Swiss guys birthday in Sucre


Black is the shade of spider monkeys, grammar is getting better, could i be turning a corner? Not on your life. Maybe i was saving it for a rainy day. Now it´s stopped raining, it´s time to get back to the way i woz. Get it? ´I´m an animal lover, an animal lover´ to quote Dirt Nasty.

Look, lust and leave

Before the carnival in Oruru


Jimi Hendrix once said, ´On a rainy day sit back and relax´, it once rained here for 2-3 daze and as Dave said ´The animals must get fed´, i need to breathe, so i think i will stay out of the rain, even grace these fine ´Eco Warriors´ with my absence, have you ever wondered why ´They´ put the word ´Sense´ in absence, flash back to my test team leader in Alinta gas, when you assume you make an ass out of u and me.

Enough of the wordplay, even though there isn´t enough of it about.

Maybe i´m getting older and wiser or maybe i´m dreading having to go to a doctor, in Ireland it would be 60-70 Euro, but not here, here i´m sure it would be bad advice from a guy that would have been less of a student than I, and I used to think Oral Sex was something you talked about, and i still do sometimes!

Oruru carnival


The rain is stopping now, time to unrelax or play ´The wind cries Mary´ in A Minor, now the animals have been fed, 10 O´Clock is the feeding time, it could be a good time to don the hard hat (the hat would be just a stage prop readers) and put on a storming performance as a hygiene engineer (i always wanted to be an engineer too, maybe i will realize one of my life long goals and dreams) and not get too wet along the way.

Drink swallow and think

´She´ll be coming down the mountain.....´



Death road


English Steve and Welsh Dave were singing part of this song from Oliver

Ok, i don´t know if Charles Darwin met any Howler monkeys, but, they have 5 fingers, ok, 5. Spider monkeys have 4, it seems to me that the spider monkeys are a bit more like cartoon characters (and if you have seen any of them in action, you know this to be spot on)

Death road


I have 5 fingers, truth be told, i was in the showers today and ´Chica´ the female Howler monkey was up above observing me, normally this works the other way around, we observe them, pretty soon i´m sure it will be like Planet of the apes!!

Death road


Since the Howler ´Chica´ has 5 fingers and not 4 like the spider monkeys, should i not take this sort of thing a little bit seriously?



I mean i´m flattered she choose me, if she did actually choose me, did she think she could learn more from me than anyone else?

The question that bothers me is was i sexually harassed or not? If yes, do Howler monkeys have good taste? Should i have reported it to the cops? or should i invite her over for a banana and see where things go? After all we are talking 5 fingers and 5 toes, not claws and beaks.

I´m not a holy man but if your up there, Superman, could you get Charles Darwin on the line and tell me what he thinks, it´s just because i´m curious, scientifically speaking. Science as you know has so many questions, and i intend on doing my part and providing a few answers, without of course having to poke and prod things with my white coat and say things like ´Interesting´ and ´Hmmmm´ and maybe i´d say ´As i expected´ and rush out the door shouting ´Eureka´ (balls naked of course, then people woud think i´m really smart or mad´

Corico, i like very much


I´ll add this before i go back to my Garden of Eden hostel (it´s really fuckin amazing, but thats another story)

Nude is when you choose to be seen in the buff, naked is when you are caught (by the irate cuckold en flagrante)

End

The world is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel

I laugh in the face of death, the road

From And the man said

Things to check out, oh sorry, i forgot to say hello, Shut up, hello, i thought you (me in 10 years time would be interested in this, it´s just like something out of Buck Rodgers, but that´s another story)

Well anyways check out a book called ´Lessons for young boys from the life of M. Gandhi´

I read a nice little phrase a few daze ago, ´They remain slaves because they cannot see what is beautiful in this world´, i would somewhat agree, i kinda have to, since soon i wont have any money and i will have to make do with the best things in life, i´m told they are free, i plan on getting a student card too before i hit oz, so at least some things will be discounted, anyway who would believe i´m a consultant?

On the way back on the death road

From And the man said

Ok, down to business

What do you get if you cross a squirrel monkey and a little kitten? I don´t know either, but but if you´d like to take a seat with me and flip through a readers digest magazine, maybe we could both learn? And contribute to science, because don´t you know, science has so many questions and maybe we could answer one of them, and maybe science will stop asking so many feckin questions?

Like what happens if you cross a squirrel monkey and some chicks ear?

Look, i´m thinking, squirrel monkeys need some sex education (Can you draw pictures readers? Yes? You do the pictures and i´ll ´Do´ the words and maybe we can educate our friend Jimmy.)

From And the man said

We are talking about the reproductive quality´s of a little squirrel monkey here, the world does not need more love, it needs a squirrel monkey directing their love in the right direction (not in some chicks ear or kitten love)

What The World Needs Now Is Love - Burt Bacharach


After all you could be thrown out of clubs for that kind of thing, that´s what i i´ve learnt anyways, you need to learn from your mistakes, not that trying new things is a mistake, ears are for other things, like listening for peoples footsteps while your masturbating, leave the ears alone, they are already working overtime, yea hear me?

From And the man said

Although kittens are cute, i´m thinking a few carefully drawn pics could do the trick, as you can probably tell, words make feck all difference, the great philosopher George W. Bush doesn´t trust books, and they are full of words, case closed for words, hit them with pictures, it´s all up to you and me, well more you than me, me?

I´m waiting for an alien abduction, not so much an abduction as, where can i get a ticket out of here?

A one way to Sirrus A or B please!

The not so luck people that went down the death road

From And the man said