......so i bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
So i get home, this is a good end result (especially since all i wanted to do is get home, successfully) so i get home and Pam (neighbour) asks her daughter what i look like.
Clodagh tells her my hair is all styled, down to my ears, styled, curly.
Pam asks, 'What colour is his face? White or brown? Clodags says, 'Well, he's not chocolate', no, but i do like the stuff.
So Clodagh is talking to her friend (holding Sneachta) by the back fence and tells her friend about her granny, the granny she is talking about is her mother.
So now, since i got back, i spend my daze walking around with Sneachta in my arms (a used to be white Chihuahua, snow in Irish is ' Sneachta', but still called Sneachta)
I love my life, defiantly heaven!!!
So far i have had 2 humps in my bed, on further investigation the sheets are Egyptan cotton, and it does smell of camels!!!
My best friend Sneachta, when he was a baby...last year
So i'm off to Germany and i'm flying next to this 28 year old Brazilian babe and her 1 year old baby (she told me she has 3 other kids), hard to believe with a body like that and i really am flying, this was even before we took off.
The baby (Leo) starts to cry and i don't mind it at all and we're having a laugh, the German woman on the other isle looks over to me starts throwing faces and i say 'So how many kids do you want to have', she looks away in disgust, it was going to be along flight, not for me.
I was very happy to have made it on the flight, so we are rapping away in Portuguese and i tell her about the Air France flight that went down on the same route 2 months ago, the chick in front of me turns to me and says 'Your a crazy guy!!', Ok, i dont mind if i do. :)
This Brazilian first came to Germany 10 years ago (the mind can only boggle at how she looked then!!!) for Samba dancing and for me it's pretty funny to see a Brazilian talk German and all dressed up like a business woman, i showed her my new Havaianas, she had serious shoes with heels, perfect for Frankfurt.
Later, the chick in front of me tells me 'Your crazy because you smile all the time' , someone told me the exact same thing a few days before too!!!!
Leo makes noise, not that much, to me, Miss serious Germany throws more looks, i say '2 Kids?', Mr Germany looks over at me too, now i'm laughing, fuck them (i did feel quite high on that flight)
So we get i drink, later i go ask for a gin and tonic NOT another,
The guy says: 'It's the policy to give 1 drink, but since i dont know if you were asleep, i will give you a drink' Me: Yeah, i was asleep, cheers
I get to Frankfurt and i'm tired, no sleep, so after resting up in Starbuck's, maybe i slept, i can never tell sometimes for a few hours and i dont have a watch and the body clock is always set on 18 years young. I head into the city to Central and i walk around, something strange happens, my brain starts to say's 'I like this place'
Everybody i meet is cool, i see the historic part of town and head to meet the couch surfers and a chick on the train shows me the street, very cool, so far so good.... so what?
After the couch surfing meeting in Rio myself and Gabriala went to a heavy metal bar. I think this song was ' Skin of my teeth'
So the cough is getting worse, welcome to Europe, now you will get sick, nothing ever changes, so after 12.30 after drinks we (myself and the 3 couchsurfing German girls) go out to this Jam session at some Communist club and we end up at this cave disco and it would seem if you speak english people push you (we were near the mosh pit), not bad!!!
Get crazy Germany!!! It was good.
And you were wondering what my name would be in Korean?
Before we went out, one of the girls said that her friend was 'confused'. I said ' If it feels good, do it' , she said ' Kieran all this time you understood everything we said, i said ' Er, no, but now i do', oh how i laughed!!!!!!
So on Sunday i go out walking and i see a Guinness sign, so i have 2 and later i'm out walking (Autumn is the best time for walking!!) and i see an Irish pub 'An teach beag', before long i'm rapping away with the owner, Tagdh from Limerick, Yegar more Guinness. I meet the girlfriend, he gets my number as he's passing Glanmire sometime soon.
Robber You would be a good robber. Just be careful you don't leave fingerprints I did a test, no i'm not pregnant, but i would be a good robber, the internet told me, who am i to argue?
In his bar, you can smoke and do what you want, got a dog, no problem, his bar is a drinking institution, he says sometimes he's asleep drunk in the corner and people come in, pour drinks, they pay and leave, the money is there, he doesn't worry about it and he makes money.
What about the law, the Germans love making laws, the people that just went out were all cops and they were smoking
Acronym
kieran ocallaghan = A ARCANA HELLO! KING
p.s. Useless info, there is a German law (see what i mean) that states if a premises never had a cash register, you dont have to buy one, but once you have one, you need to keep getting one, just about every where people use a purse (it works out better for them, not so good for the Tax people!!)
One for the road........... In Love and Gratitude of Beloved OSHO
In a school in Poland the teacher asks, "Has any of you ever saved somebody's life?" A little boy raises his arm, "Yes, my little nephew's." "How did it happen? Tell us!" asks the teacher. The little Polack says, "I hid my sister's birth control pills!"
So after many false starts, i did it and by being absolutely paranoid (Ozzie Ozbourne) style, i woke up (very good), drank a beer (cold) from last night, when i paid for the beers for myself and Sydney Dave (brother of 'Pretty eyes')
Last nights no change situation:
Bar guy: Do you want 3 beers instead? Me: No, i want 4 Bar guy: ok
Made like a leaf, so i asked again what time the Catamaran was leaving, 11.30 and 3, i was told there was one at 12.30, but no.
So i got to Salvador, the guy from Chile gives me a ride in his taxi to the bus station (half way to the airport).
Father Ted - It's not the morning
I switch stations and a local chick is helping me get the right bus and she talks to a guy going to the airport too, off we go on the bus, he buys me a big Skol beer going in the door of the airport, i get something to eat and look at buying Havaianas, i have 24 Haias, they are 28, no go, so i go to the boarding area and i see the duty free.
Havaianas are for sale at 18 Haias, so my 24 Haias get me a green pair (my size) a chocolate bar and a $1 US bill with the Illumunati pyramid and seeing eye.
A very happy and fortunate ending to a fuckin brilliant time
Muito Bon Brasil
p.s. I will be back
(I was very fortunate everything went to plan, if it didn't i'd be still in Brasil!!!)
p.s.s So i was talking to these girls about story's and one of them said they liked 'Happy endings'. Kieran's brain starts to race, and we start to talk, i'm talking about Thai style happy endings and she's talking about Chick flick happy endings
I remember she said 'I just like them because, you know it's coming', i was speechless!!! I had to end that conversation.
Just watched Zoolander and it wasn't as nearly as funny as when i last saw it, maybe i've changed? I hope not.
On Moho de Sao Paulo, i wasn't going to drink one of the first nights, but a thunder storm moves in and it bucketed down for 3.5 hours and since the nearest stall sold them it was Caprianas the whole time and then down to the second beach having a blast with some chicks from Sao Paulo and some chick from England, if memory serves me, didn't go on any tour except for walking up and down the main beaches, getting somewhere and did i get there!!
Met 2 Aussies Tegan and Dave, many beers, no photos or videos, whats the problem? I'm reminded of an English guy i met in Bolivia, he told me after travelling it's great going back to Australia, i would have to agree!!!!!
So one more day on Morro de Sao Paulo, for sure, i will leave tomorrow, no excuses and go towards Salvador, hopefully i will make it to the village near the airport and then it will be ' Fuckin' thanks Brasil, Germany, please dont bore the shit out of me.
Some of the highlights: Hanging out with the crazy Mr (cartoon character) Smith (i was laughing just looking at him), 'It's cool, it's cool....it's the power!!!' And DJ Alex from Argentina
The other night Sofie (from Spain) and myself had a private concert (electronic), courtesy of Mr Smith, i was dancing in the rain, if it rains, the wetter the better, work before pleasure, very cool night, the power was out for a few nights so the locals played Samba, very cool, it's the power!!
So one day i wake up and i wonder where my new Havianas are and just then right outside the pousada owner walks past with my sandles on, they were way too big for him, i told him they were mine, he didn't want to give them up, i told him twice too, i told him not to worry i would buy more, but i told him i know they are mine, fucker!!!
So we went to Dizzys restaurant, good food, the woman cooks food with love and loves life, great place to hang out, someone said she found a lot of gold years ago and she is very rich, i just dont know.
Mr Smith was telling us about Israelis the other day, 'Israeli guy, how much?' How much?', Fuck off Israel! He kept this up for 10 minutes with hand gestures, fuckin classic!!! I laughed so much!!!
Aussie chick Tegan was telling me when your upset, the best way to get over it is to do multiplication in yer head, 1 * 1 =1, 1 * 2=2, 1 * 3=3, and after 10 minutes your back in the business of being happy, by using the other side of your head....stupid!!
Mr Leo Smith
Going into the restaurant he worked in his brother said 'He is crazy, you know nothing' and i thought i knew something, but he was like looking at Bugs Bunny or Grouch Marx, a classic!!
Mo money, mo problem, i was going to leave tomorrow, but i got mo money so there is no problem, so the weekend is here and i just might 'Cut loose', but only a little bit and enjoy life here, because thats where i am, right here!
The medicine
Quote from Dave (from Sydney)
I feel sorry for people that dont drink, cos when they wake up in the morning, thats the best they are going to feel all day
Tegan took this photo of Mr Muscles
p.s. Mr Muscles saw me next day and he was telling me about the Beautiful Menina, beautiful eyes, beautiful face, beautiful body, beautiful hair, beautiful (while he was smiling away to himself)
...and what do i want to be? I want to be fit again and give up the rock star lifestyle, my life styl determins my death style, but i'm sure i will be saying the same thing tomorrow, if tomorrow ever comes, and it always does!!
p.s.
Tomorrow is here, do what you said yesterday, after all it wont kill you...to try. Do it...Do it...Do it...
Life will be Fabulous, i looked it up on Etymology
1546, from L. fabulosus "celebrated in fable," from fabula (see fable). From "mythical," sense of "incredible" first recorded 1609. Slang shortening fab first recorded 1957; popularized in reference to The Beatles, c.1963.
"Fabulous (often contracted to fab(s)) and fantastic are also in that long list of words which boys and girls use for a time to express high commendation and then get tired of, such as, to go no farther back than the present century, topping, spiffing, ripping, wizard, super, posh, smashing." [Fowler, 1965]
So this is my new idea for writing, pick the word and write about the word
Met as chick from Rio on the beach and her 2 gay friends, the 2 gay guys dated twice, years ago and one of them recognised the other, the first indication of all of this to me was one of them rubbing the inside of the others leg, and there was me thinking that they were 'Just good friends'.
Maybe time heals all wounds, not that there was any wounds to heal, except maybe, one of the guys leg, he had it operated 16 times after being in a car crash, 2 people died, while out partying, time, eh?
Well, i'm off to a flying start here, i cant complain.
Oh yeah, Mark from England (that i met before going to the island) told me he wants to fire bomb DHL offices across the world. He sent a delicate carved package to his mom for her birthday from Peru, costing 170 Euro's.
He rang them asking why it arrived in tiny little pieces and 5 weeks too late, completely missing his mothers birthday (and maybe too early for next years birthday)
I don't suppose his mother is into jigsaw puzzle, cos that is quite a puzzle, physically and mentally.
Pititinga (Fried little fish) Mocoto (Boiled cow hoof) Feijoada (parts of the pig the slaves got, gives you lots of energy for working, football, fucking)
Thank you England, your not all bad people, things certainly have been looking up since Margaret Thatcher left office and looking up they is, well i'm looking up any ways, after all there are no shoes on my feet.
Just got to Morro de sao Paulo and my English friend Mark i met last night gave me the low down on Morro de sao Paulo
So i've negotiated the first 3 nights for 75 hais, Saturday will be a 100, so i'm out on Saturday, i'll go back the way i came, the way the locals go and go north to the next place (and space is the place)
Jazz, Gustavos dog in Porta Seguro
I took some time to meet the locals running the Pousada, Johnny + Nely, so now i might be able to get away with more than most, most of the people dont bother to say hello and already i'm invited to fried shrimp on Saturday and they showed me the cheapest place in town to eat my favourite food 'Beans and rice' [ Pauses to eat my favourite food]
Porta Seguro
It's true, it's true and it gets better and better!!!
So i go out for a quiet one and ended up coming home around 6am, so i'm watching Led Zepplin, then the crazy guy puts on AC/DC, i have a beer, i'm talking to the 2 women next to me, the older one from Brasilia was a laugh, she ended going home on a moto taxi, with me shouting 'Rock and roll' (of course), then me (like an idiot) goes with the crazy guy to the next place.
But of course, he's mad and with most people ignoring him on the street, maybe other things too?
One part of the night, i pass some guys hanging out and it sounded like some guy getting beaten to death in a house, but the boys thought it was funny as it happens all the time, he does blow and whips himself, i couldn't believe it!!!
Some notes i made in a book for notes and now, this Check out Author Cormac Mac Carthy
Girls, date a transsexual, it will increase your wardrobe a 100% over night.
The only German i can remember from school is ' Ich libe dick', doesn't sound right, does it?
If i was a gay i would say ' And now it's time to kiss your ass goodbye', if i was gay and now your hoping i'm not.
Fuckin thanks Brazil
And the crazy Mr Smith, it's the power!!
I met the guy that took this footage
Information is only as valuable as the source
Into the wild i go, no other place i know
I said to a local one night 'Is she a Vet too', he responds 'No, she is crazy', Classic!!!
American chick on Skype told her friend of a chick in a Dorm that got ' Gang banged' by 8 guys, now i have 1 less reason to hate them.....chicks + i can append a new term to my Vocabulary, it will certainly come in handy in talking to them Yankees
Everything is the matter, matter is nothing but trapped energy Mobius strip
Meditation trick, ' Breath through your eyes'
Buddist philosopher trick, try and remember the solution instead of solving a problem, the idea is that the answer is already in the universe and all you have to do is remember it.
This is a copy of the type of letter i would send my buddy Siomon back in 2002, when i read this letter a few years later, i was like ´Fuck, who is that crazy guy?´, It was me!!!
He printed off these storys, they were pretty hard to believe, but all true!!!!
March 01 Keiran to Simon
Well i was gonna ring you but i dont have your mobile no.
Had a really strange night last night.........lol.
I went to the coopers happy hour and metup with a girl (Lisa) i'm seeing........needless to say we went on drinking till late with a few others.
When we went to the irish bar.....apparently i'm barred from there now, i was taking the piss out of this (Irish humourless) bar girl. lol.
Then we went to the big gay pub accross the road from me, we met a Germman girl at the bar and for some reason she came back with us for a smoke.....before i knew it we were all in bed, i remember little.
I passed out after screwing the frauline. lol.
From what i remember she was a babe, definatly nicly shaped......but fuck it memory fais me.
I'm on track to beat your 3 women in 3 days, so far it's 3 in 1 day, im supposed to meet a girl tonight, if i do meet up with her it will be 4 in 2 days.
Needless to say my drunken antics shocked the hell out of me as Lisa had a calvery of anicdotes for me this morning........ugh. gotta slow down!!!
See yea fer now.
Kieran
March 01 Simon to Kieran
It warms my heart to read your tale young man. It is good to know there are others out there on a mission (even if they don't remember it clearly or have no direct intention of doing the action).
my mobile number is (and you should have it because you called me one million times in sydney): 0402 826 XXX.
i have been in bed with two chicks at once, and fucked one of them: it just both at the same time that eludes me.
and ... for the record, in that golden week, i didn't just poke: each encounter was a 4 or 5 hour long experience with all the magical variety. the rate has subsided but, i am playing more games with my girls, getting a blow job at a restaurant (it was so much more classy than that), phone sex, and generally weirder things. it is great when you have a girl for a while (i am referring to my Jess specifically here).
things are good. my body is a bit verkucht, been a bit sick, but that is just a cry to stop the drugs and drink and smoke. such is life.
Your last comment was 'gotta slow down'. never ever ever slow down: it is our game in life to keep on going and going, harder adn stronger, until we die. never forget that. we shall call this the first commandment.
had some strange encounters as well. last week went on pub crawl (which was accentuated from the fact that i was coming down off MDMA from the night before). cute little sexy raver chick came up to me and started rubbing my head and then she stopped abruptly and said, 'i better stop that is making me horny'. This was my call. problem: i had to leave to another party in about 10 mins. solution: be a part of movie: I had my trenchcoat on, so i become sexy simon the stud mafia guy. told her the truth: just wanted to play for ten then i had to go. we played outside, i left. simple. it was like a dream (in the literal sense).
i'm sure her next beer tasted a little different when she went back inside.
anyway, enough debauchery.
simon
2nd April 01 Kieran to Simon It Happened part 2
Well simon
I went out on Fri. night a 3am, i ended up going to the imperial to see if there was any lasses to be had, anyway i saw this girl by herself so i went over and had a chat, i ended up buying her a beer, after about an hour i asked "Where do you go in newtown" she ended up saying
Her: "...Newtown Hotel" Me: "Oh yeah i was there the other night" Her "I met an irish guy there last night" After a pause of 5 secconds of looking at me....
Her: "Was your friend Lisa" Me: Laughing "Yea" Her: "I had sex with you last night"
Praticing me typing...... keep reading or else i'll have to stop cos if you dont read it i couldnt have typed it.... hmmm not sure about that, think i'll just stick to trees falling in forests...yeah!
The type of forests where birds fly (Not into trees) and bees laugh and the comonwealth bank take out their chainsaws and say this redwood is worth a few quid, yuppies love putting their lattes on redwood tbles (It's true, look it up.) and anyway they knock these trees down, pretty roughly if you ask me.....and who's asking me anything? No one.....but i'm telling you all the same.
(Video is from the street party Sunday night in Arraial d’Ajuda)
What exactly do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
Not sure, it's been a while since a computer went down on me, maybe i'm doing something wrong, two duh-velopers i used to work with used to go down on each other on their lunchtimes, very naughty, we wernt allowed to watch or anything.......a pretty sad ending i know.
The only thing i remember about computer's going down on me is it used to happen a lot, and didnt make me very happy....but in a way it did coz it's a great excuse not having any work done and your boss looks at the clock which reads 2pm and he thinks 'It has to be finished by now?', 'Not at all, shur the bleddy thing has been going down on me all day', 'Ok so' he says and doesent ask you ever again. I hope it's all clear for you.... Like a fog Jo says....like a fog!
Plagiarism? Why yes, it's the only way i can write something great and make it my own, i duh-veloped 'Leading edge' technology i like to call 'Copy and Paste' usually not together, usually it's just 'Paste' or 'copy' or even 'Copy rodger niner' Anyway here it is.
Read about this in the paper
Tip #1: DUBLIN MOTORISTS! Solve those parking problems by driving a forklift.
Tip #2: PEOPLE IN HORROR MOVIES! IF you hear a strange inhuman growl outside the door, do not open the door, peer out, and say "Harold is that you?" because it's probably not Harold. Because it killed Harold already, and Harry is now reduced to a pool of smelly gunk on the floor.
Tip #3: PEOPLE IN HORROR MOVIES again! Do not - we repeat - do not make your primary mode of transportation a heavy rear wheel drive car such as a Cadillac or Oldsmobile or a Lincoln, because you will inevitably get the vehicle lodged in mud of some kind, even if the movie takes place in the middle of the desert.
Tip #4: YOU KNOW that scary relationship is about to end when your SO calls you at work and says there's a lightbulb needs changing in the bathroom, and you ask how do you do that, and he/she says: "Dead simple. You start by filling the bath with water..."
Tip #5: IF YOU are a female in a horror movie, never get your tits out for the lads. Easy women die fast.
Tip #6: ONE WAY to really scare your flatmate is to phone them up pretending to be from another galaxy. Claim that they have been specially selected to further the human race by being put in a pod-shaped craft and sent out into space with a well-known Australian singer and former teen soap actress. (NB This one won't work with everybody)
#1: Overheard by The Alfonso: This is a very old one; I actually heard it when I was about six waitin' for me Ma in the hairdressers. A mother: "Jason, do ya want a "Starbar"?" Son: "Yeah Ma" A mother: "Well you can f*** off!"
#2: By pookakie: Mr scum to scum burd after her refusing his advances: "Yer only a f****** baloo-win anyway" (she was a touch on the tubby side).
#3: By mags: A 10- or 11-year-old boy pointed at a bidet and asked his mom what it was for. She looked embarrassed, thought for a moment then said: "It's a sink for really short people." Truth. Saw and heard it myself.
#4: By Rory Sheridan: True story, apparently. Two obviously posh old dears are strolling around Stephen's Green in Dublin when they run across a grizzled, ragged old tramp lying drunk in the gutter, covered in rubbish and empty bottles and newspapers, and a drainpipe's water running all over him. "Hmmmph," sniffs one of the old ladies haughtily. "Cleanliness is next to godliness - William Shakespeare!" The drunk opens one yellowed, rheumy old eye, stares at her balefully, and replies, "F*** off - Roddy Doyle..."
#5: By SeánÓg: The father of a friend of mine tells a great story about when he was in Dolphin's Barn about 30 years ago, waiting on a bus. There was a mother and young boy beside him at the bus stop and the bus was running very late and the kid was getting fidgety. Eventually the bus came around the corner and the kid starts jumping up and down, pointing at the bus and shouting "Ma, Ma, there's the f***in' bus. There's the f***in' bus Ma." With this, the mother hits the young fella an almighty clatter round the ear and says to him "Didn't I learn you not to f***in' point"!!
Nothing more to type after all that copy and pasteing....it really does take a lot out of me (Wipes the sweat from his brow)
So, one fine night we are going to dinner, 1 Brasilian, 2 Germans a French guy and me, then an America comes over with 2 Brasilian chicks and asks us if we want to come to the Foho concert in Arraial d’Ajuda.
I'm not hungry, this seems like a good idea, France comes too, excellente, he had a camera, we took some good photos!!
Viva La Vida!!!!
Dont know if i posted this quote, but it's on of my favourite from Tiago In Brasil they say if you look at the moon and you see a rabbit, your horny and you are going to get laid, there wasnt a full moon when we went to Arraial d’Ajuda, was this going to be a problem, i did eat a lot of salad?
So anyways back to Arraial d’Ajuda, and there are 2 times that are good to go, day time and night time, i went both times and it was great!!
So got there, just before all the Gringos get there, October is the busy month, and in front of some restaurants a band was playing, Casey is dancing it up, for a fella from Texas to dance like that, it's hard to believe, then he starts to play the drums, the drummer is dancing with the girl behind us and we are taking photos with the drummers hat, what a laugh!!
So after some amazing dancing, the band finish, a local guy, all cracked up, with his drum comes in and sings his songs, and he was really REALLY good, after he does a few requests, he's giving us a few renditions by the footpath later, we give him some money, amazing sounds he was getting from a battered drum!! ....all CRACKED up!!
Cracked up dude
So then we jump in the car and we are off to another street party and the dancing is the most incredible i have ever seen, there was one guy dancing with about 5 chicks at once and at another time, like in capoeira, girls were jumping in every 10 seconds to dance with him, a lot of old guys were dancing with hot chicks, so if your old, get down with the Brasilian dancing scene and things might start to look up, for you (and pop some Viagra if you like!)
Casey from Austin, feels a bit peckish, we just missed the ferry, so we had to wait, he's buying everyone 'Mistis' (grilled cheese sandwitches), they are 3 Reals each, he tries to get 4 for 10, the guy says no, Casey says the guy over there sells them for 2 Reals each, the guy says no, Casey pays up.
Myself and Joaquim use so much garlic sauce and chilli sauce, the guy wasn't too happy, i'm told, h
Fabia's cousin is telling us how she wants to meet for love and all of that on the way back, i'm saying thats ok, i have 5 kids and my wife is ok with it.
So next morning, we get home, i'm locked out, so i sleep at L'Orange's place, L'Orange sees me next morning, i tell him 'It's ok, we're in love', he seems to understand.
And of course, we had to tell people were 'Rich and single', last night i told a trans sexual hanging out at a street bar that Joaquim was 'Rich and single', he RAN!!!
(Videos are from hanging out with Gustavo and Joajuim in Porta Seguro)
Oh hello
Praticing me typing...... keep reading or else i'll have to stop cos if you dont read it i couldnt have typed it.... hmmm not sure about that, think i'll just stick to trees falling in forests...yeah!
The type of forests where birds fly (Not into trees) and bees laugh and the comonwealth bank take out their chainsaws and say this redwood is worth a few quid, yuppies love putting their lattes on redwood tables (It's true, look it up.) and anyway they knock these trees down, pretty roughly if you ask me.....and who's asking me anything? No one.....but i'm telling you all the same.
Quality
What exactly do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
Not sure, it's been a while since a computer went down on me, maybe i'm doing something wrong, two duh-velopers i used to work with used to go down on each other on their lunchtimes, very naughty, we wernt allowed to watch or anything.......a pretty sad ending i know.
The only thing i remember about computer's going down on me is it used to happen a lot, and didnt make me very happy....but in a way it did coz it's a great excuse not having any work done and your boss looks at the clock which reads 2pm and he thinks 'It has to be finished by now?', 'Not at all, shur the bleddy thing has been going down on me all day', 'Ok so' he says and doesent ask you ever again. I hope it's all clear for you.... Like a fog Jo says....like a fog!
Plagiarism? Why yes, it's the only way i can write something great and make it my own, i duh-veloped 'Leading edge' technology i like to call 'Copy and Paste' usually not together, usually it's just 'Paste' or 'copy' or even 'Copy rodger niner' Anyway here it is.
Tip #1: DUBLIN MOTORISTS! Solve those parking problems by driving a forklift.
Tip #2: PEOPLE IN HORROR MOVIES! IF you hear a strange inhuman growl outside the door, do not open the door, peer out, and say "Harold is that you?" because it's probably not Harold. Because it killed Harold already, and Harry is now reduced to a pool of smelly gunk on the floor.
Tip #3: PEOPLE IN HORROR MOVIES again! Do not - we repeat - do not make your primary mode of transportation a heavy rear wheel drive car such as a Cadillac or Oldsmobile or a Lincoln, because you will inevitably get the vehicle lodged in mud of some kind, even if the movie takes place in the middle of the desert.
Tip #4: YOU KNOW that scary relationship is about to end when your SO calls you at work and says there's a lightbulb needs changing in the bathroom, and you ask how do you do that, and he/she says: "Dead simple. You start by filling the bath with water..."
Tip #5: IF YOU are a female in a horror movie, never get your tits out for the lads. Easy women die fast.
Tip #6: ONE WAY to really scare your flatmate is to phone them up pretending to be from another galaxy. Claim that they have been specially selected to further the human race by being put in a pod-shaped craft and sent out into space with a well-known Australian singer and former teen soap actress. (NB This one won't work with everybody)
Oh happy days, er.....nights
#1: Overheard by The Alfonso: This is a very old one; I actually heard it when I was about six waitin' for me Ma in the hairdressers. A mother: "Jason, do ya want a "Starbar"?" Son: "Yeah Ma" A mother: "Well you can f*** off!"
#2: By pookakie: Mr scum to scum burd after her refusing his advances: "Yer only a f****** baloo-win anyway" (she was a touch on the tubby side).
#3: By mags: A 10- or 11-year-old boy pointed at a bidet and asked his mom what it was for. She looked embarrassed, thought for a moment then said: "It's a sink for really short people." Truth. Saw and heard it myself.
#4: By Rory Sheridan: True story, apparently. Two obviously posh old dears are strolling around Stephen's Green in Dublin when they run across a grizzled, ragged old tramp lying drunk in the gutter, covered in rubbish and empty bottles and newspapers, and a drainpipe's water running all over him. "Hmmmph," sniffs one of the old ladies haughtily. "Cleanliness is next to godliness - William Shakespeare!" The drunk opens one yellowed, rheumy old eye, stares at her balefully, and replies, "F*** off - Roddy Doyle..."
#5: By SeánÓg: The father of a friend of mine tells a great story about when he was in Dolphin's Barn about 30 years ago, waiting on a bus. There was a mother and young boy beside him at the bus stop and the bus was running very late and the kid was getting fidgety. Eventually the bus came around the corner and the kid starts jumping up and down,pointing at the bus and shouting "Ma, Ma, there's the f***in' bus. There's the f***in' bus Ma."
With this, the mother hits the young fella an almighty clatter round the ear and says to him "Didn't I learn you not to f***in' point"!!
Nothing more to type after all that copy and pasteing....it really does take a lot out of me (Wipes the sweat from his brow)
So i leave Vitoria, after getting 600 Euro sent, that i dont need now, since my other bank card needed to be activated, this was done and Kieran was back in the business of being happy again.
So i waved goodbye to Vitoria, to Tiagos family, he called me to say goodbye, he saw the amount of beer cans i drank after coming home from hanging out with Marcio, the next morning and thought i could be dead, i on the other hand, felt fresh as a Daisy, Daisy Duke? No!
So i got to Porta Seguro, a bit tired, got a Posada and went for a walk, hung out with some locals near the Alcohol avenue, had a few cocktails and got to know some locals and they got to know me too.
So next day, i realise my bag, is missing and thats another story, and i try calling couch surfers, i call the first guy, he says he'll meet me now, i give up waiting after an hour and a half, the next day i meet the other couch surfer, Gustavo, and i hit gold!!
So i meet up with Gustavo, hang outside his kite surfer friends shop, go to a bar, i get back late to my Pousada, the next day, Gustavo collects me and i move to his place, very nice, pool, all mod con's, Porta Seguro is starting to look up.
So after a week and a half, the flight home is on the 14th, it could be time to go more North, towards Salvador, more beaches, more couch surfers, more fun? I would settle to get home alive, these night lifes are killing me, all the going out will end, one day.
So, the days here consist of hanging out, walking the dog, Jazz, hanging out and nothing else, i discovered a 6 Reals rice and beans restaurant, AWESOME!!!
I was telling Fabia's cousin about it last night in the car to the Foho concert, she laughed, she probably was indicating, there wouldn't be a good place to bring her on a date and now i'm off to bring my French friend Joaquim there, life is good!!
Brasil, take back the quote 'He's sexy as a door', cos i found one!!!
Photos are the Itaunas, camp ground owners work
Videos are from kids playing cricket in Itaunas
So i went to go North, to Itaunas, from Vitoria, had problems with getting cash at the bus station, i had time, so i went for a walk, no joy there either, so i had my ticket, so off i went anyways, thinking i could get money at the town before Itaunas, wrong, i look online to see about 8k missing from my credit card.
I call my bank to tell them this and the chick asks me 10 times if, i'm sure i want to cancel the card, yep i'm pretty sure i have to put an end to the cocaine and hooker party thats been going on, in my honor!!
Girls playing too???
As a chair?
Heard the camping owner have big arguements with his missus, and i was thinking will he have angry make up sex later, 100% probability, my mind says!!
Giant fork and something?
We crew
A small black dog was following me around in Itanuas and i was reminded of the dog in Yelapa that was adopted by an American and ended up in Beverly hills, not this fellow and i thought of the dog Sultan, that myself and D started calling some other name, he was a great dog and he got rid of all the ferral cats, oh, i suppose cat lovers can laugh now, not them!!!!
So anyways, after a nice weekend, it's back to Vitoria for me, so i can sort out my sortable problems (the other ones i'll continue to ignore, maybe they will go away?)
