Jamie Liddel

All these videos are from a Jamie Liddel concert i went to month in February, i know this cause i had the night off of drinking, Febfast and i needed it too after January.

I really like this guy

Thought for the Day: The English word 'devil' is very beautiful. If you read it backwards it becomes 'lived.' That which is lived becomes divine, and that which is not lived becomes devil. Only the lived is transformed into godliness; the unlived turns poisonous. And today you postpone, and whatsoever remains unlived in you will hang around you like a weight. If you had lived it you would have been free of it. It would not have haunted you, it would not have tortured you. OSHO

If you were my girlfriend...........

So, it's the music round of the Trivia night, last Wednesday, just before everything went mad and the bad chemicals kicked in my head.


The bad chemicals, of course being in reference to when my Mr Hyde, my Doppelganger comes on to play, and did he, it was all legal and maybe kosher, so far.
Back to the El Story Rory, So, it's the music round of Trivia, it's getting a bit tense, everyone looks a bit nervous, and my brain decides to take the tension (nothing sexual...so far) down a notch.

So out comes my Pizza, very nice and only for $5, how could you say 'No' or 'Non', if you were French, no?
The song everyone was trying to recall was some White snake, Alice Cooper cock rock song, so I sez to the girl as she puts it down in front of me, 'If you were my girlfriend, we would make out to this song every night', the whole table is in hysterics, the girl looks up and says 'That’s actually really funny', and it went on from there.
But that was then, this is now, so what's happened between then and now, you say? Well, this, the new Apple G4's are now on sale last night at midnight, I found this because as I went to the El Gym around 5.30pm, a queue was being formed (they are so civilised here in Australia, the wild west days are no more) and all these dickheads were being civilised, in a straight line up the road and when I came out of the gym, they were around the corner.

When I came out of having noodle soup, they were around another corner, I saw one guy on his G3 iPhone in the queue, another guy was on his apple laptop, on my way into see the excellent movie 'Lola' , as part of the international movie festival.

LOLA

In the permanently flooded district of Malabon in Manilla a grandmother (or lola in Tagalog) grieves for her grandson, murdered by a thief. The thief’s own lola collects money to help her grandson avoid prison. Connected by crime, two resilient women find themselves linked inexorably to each others’ fates.

The Philippines’s most prolific contemporary auteur, award-winning filmmaker Brillante Mendoza (Slingshot, MIFF 2008) offers up a poignant slice of social realism, a neorealist-influenced take on the strength of family, the wisdom of age and the sacrifices made in the name of both.

The queue for G4 iPhones was around more corners, you know how corners are, I don’t need to draw you a map and when I closed my eyes (both at the same time) those same enthusiasts (dickheads that require a real life) were still there, night night dickheads!!

I wonder if any of the proud to be iPhone G4 owners had girlfriends? Did they smoke cigars afterwards? Or did they have any problems getting cell phone reception. Who would you call after buying a G4 after midnight, would you call a taxi to get home or order pizza when you get home after getting one of the many taxis on the street?

Apparently you get better reception if you hold it differnt, maybe if you held your cock differnt, you'd get better reception too, or maybe people wouldn't keep asking you to 'Please leave now'?
Not that you need any of these things to enjoy life, I do remember watching the movie thinking 'God, I really love life right now', which I strange I know, because I’m a bit of an Atheist, by intelligent design?

Many hands make light work, just ask Paul

In some countries they believe this so much they have many, many kids to help them out.

The same countries, to one's I’m thinking about like Laos in South East Asia, the residents of Laos don’t have many TV's, they didn't when I was there last, so what are you going to do when you've put in a long day tending the fields, the sun goes down and it's bed time, what do you do, what do you do?

The Taliban banned TV's at one stage, there was a radio show that was so popular, they couldn't ban it and it was produced out of London, by the BBC, believe it or not? Michael Moor, did a show about it, he was dropping TV's over Afganistan (it looked like it anyway's, the moon landing looked real too, but thats TV for yea)

Our German friend, Paul, is a winner; did I tell you about coming 1st last night in the trivia, with my usual suspect’s trivia crew, the A-Team elite force, hand picked because of out un-natural lateral thinking craniums you say?
I don’t know, they recognised me from last week, we came 3rd, and I had a voucher for a jug of beer from last week, and if that isn't a reason to meet up with some random strangers the following week, to take out the Royal Derby Trivia grand prize of $60 worth of beer, and 3 other jugs along the way, I don’t know what is.
So back to my many hands tid bit, it would seem that Paul isn't held with much regard by the people over in Iran with all the nuclear weapons, is there something wrong with those fellas in Iran? He's just an octopus, a right one.

'But how would you hold an octopus’s', you say, he'd probable slip right tout of your hands? True, true.


I was watching the Stephen Fry quiz show 'QI' the other night, the latest gossip/research is that, some guys (in white coats) think that the (common?) octopus has many brains, apparently to control the complexity of their tentacles, squid ink is put in to Risotto in Italy and they have very bad memories, they can be trained to open lids of jars, but they have to be re taught to do this task, every day, every day not being exactly 24 hours, but is in fact more or less 24, a little bit under or over and this is aligned by people in white coats, I’m guessing (or maybe you'd like to ask Paul?)


Why would Germans call an octopus’s 'Paul'? He's German, he should have been have been called 'Hands', second name 'Many', don’t those Germans got no sense of humour or something?

Last night the chick on our trivia team won the heads and tails round, she picked 'Heads and Tails' 5 times, she picked 'Heads and tails' 6 times last week too, I wonder what the odds are, you wouldn't get those odds in Vegas, so we won another jug of beer for her, heads and tails ability, more beer!!


Stuart thinks the odds would be .1; I’m with him with that, I might get a headache if I tried working that one out, no thanks and he got married in Vegas by an Elvis impersonator, see, i'm with Stuart!!

The Trivia victory song, this is a new addition to Trivia, you can select a song, if you win, I said 'Smack my bitch up', for a laugh, the MC Damo said, 'Ok, so', so that was it, the sweet taste of victory and everyone left us to bask in the limelight, it was still early, about 10pm.
This was all great, then Fayez wanted to go to Bar Open, I couldn't say no, and I went too, and now as I write this I’m reminded why I gave up drinking during the week and opted for the healthy lifestyle, but he question remains, has the healthy 'life style' opted for me?

It would appear the Gremlins are at it again in the city!!!

The Gremlins movie is playing at the Melbourne International film festival. It's the only logical reason I can think of why half the city was late for work now? If not, how were so many people late for work yesterday?

It would appear, most people don’t understand, it's better to work where you live and not spend hours on a train, boo, hoo, the choo choo was sick and late, I don’t feel sorry for any of ye. You live in the country, get a job out there!!!

A very sick train

Leave us city people alone, I don’t the city smelling like a farm? We have boutiques, Botox, lattes and we like it that way!!

It would appear people shouldn't be complaining about Gremlins or trains being late, as much as they should 'Demand', yes I’m bring out the 'D' word and get a note for their boss, and it should read like this

'Kieran was late for work today, because a possum stepped on a wire that should have had a piece of plastic wrapped around it, you can get that plastic in any hardware store for a $1, but we didn't find until it was too late, and now, all those spreadsheets of productivity will take a dive like the BP stock chart or maybe that guy that Danny Green was swinging handbag's with last week, but now you know something we always knew, the whole network is knackered, but don’t worry, it's going to get worse'

Well anyway, they should demand on of these letters, much like you’d get off of your mummy; they get one of these letters in Germany when trains are more than 5 minutes late in German, why not here.

Australians are far better than Germans and Gremlins (but Gremlins are funnier than all of them put together and far less annoying)

After all, Australians that are 20 years old, behave like they are 20 years old, or younger, if you not looking for romance, this is all good, if your a guy like me (and i'm a guy like me)

As I was telling a girl i work with, Deb, about the Germans I met in Brazil, Porta Seguro, while she was out having a cigarette, she didn't need to know any of this, somehow i thought it would make her a happy person?

These Germans in Brazil were, like 19 years old and they behaved like they were 70 years old, everything was planned, breakfast was planned, each spoon to their mouth was executed with precise efficiency, this nearly drove me absolutly crazy!!

Steward was telling me about the Lemmy (from Motorhead) movie as part of the movie festival. I was telling him about the same Germans, but with a Motorhead touch.

The Ace of spades

One of the girls I stayed with in Vitoria (Brazil) gave me a copy of her favourite Motorhead album, 'The Ace of Spades' she liked getting drunk listening to this, very Rock and Roll, i like!

Anyways the Germans were getting sick of listening to my Electronic music, especially the first thing in the morning. So I said, ok, I’ll put on an album for ye, I put on the Motorhead, 'Aces high' and left the room, laughing to myself, while wondering how long they would leave it before putting on 'Cafe del mar', the only thing chilled out German couple can take.

We got as far as track 2, the lyric 'You got to rock out with your cock out' was probably the 'Deal breaker', deal breaker or no deal breaker, if you are 19, I expect you to rock out any way you can, or what the fuck are you doing?

I told Steward this at work, while there was lots of 'Serious' types flying around, his desk, his eyes lost contact with me and all of a sudden a box of papers seemed to warrant his attention.

Did the Gremlins get to Steward too? I hope so, 'Gremlins 3, Melbourne by Storm' does have a ring to it', especially the local rugby league here is called Melbourne Storm.

Does anyone remember Rock and Roll or Gremlins for that matter?

Banging again, the words, not the guns!!!

The videos are from the summer time, the Victoria night market

So, not many words were 'Banged out' yesterday, I spent too much time waiting for the words to come to me, in the end, nothing came in the end, Elvis had to leave the building, no Encores, I don’t do them, Elvis didn't, Eminem does, (but only to shoot people, but you need to listen to his album Encore to understand that bit)

Maybe I have some kind of documentation dysfunction? I made a request for suggestions, the story kind to explore, 'Getting old?', nope, I’ve already done that to death, I’d rather forget about getting old and get fit, who said 'Buff'?

I'm getting fit now, the overall health is improving. My one problem is the one class I do want to do at my new gym is constantly booked out, so now, today I’ll be doing a third RPM (spinning cycling) class in 3 days. If three classes in 3 days doesn't get you fit, or kill you, nothing will, not for the faint hearted.

I was reading the Mx guide (free magazine people read on the train) in the pub, with my $10 steak (yummy) last night. One of the stories that got my attention was of a baby that was rushed to hospital, the tests showed he was high on coke, he was chewing a bit of tin foil at home, cops were called, the parents busted.

You could add that to the dangers of having sex (not like there wasn't enough reasons), or is it an example of young versus old gone wrong?

Ok so, getting old? Trouble understanding the kids? Maybe you got a girl that sends you an occasional SMS and you’re too old to understand half of what the lingo is (and you wonder why people can’t just write what they mean?
Look no further, help is here

St kilda moving pictures (Part Deux)

More videos from the St Kilda festival, or the festival of cops busting everyone for doing what everybody used to do in the past, but cant do now, because everybody is afraid of someone dying and it would be one less vote for some dick head who does nothing and gets paid too much (Sounds like my job, but i believe i dont get paid enough)


So there, check it out for yourself

St Kilda moving pictures

I've been meaning to post these videos for a while, i know some of you dont deserve much, so this is my present to you.

The best movie experience of my life

These were my words, after the movie 'Psycho' with the full orchestra ended, by that time my brain had recovered from all the destruction that occurred the night and some of the morning.

But a smoke and a chat to my absentee housemate Naomi was too irresistible. So after washing clothes, getting food at Gypsy bar, off I went to see the movie.
Leaning back on the chair was about all I was able for, maybe slouching, I know I’ve seen part of the movie 'Psycho' before, but the ending was spectacular, it was one of those once in a life time experiences, but if you live in Melbourne, it was yet another thing you can see, that you shouldn't miss and I’m glad I didn't.
So after the movie, Fayez was supposed to come around, but a lack of funds prevented this for him, not me, I went to the Workers club to see a band, and I was joined by the Australian, AKA Sydney Luke, he bailed early, I was near Yeah Yeahs, so I went to Gypsy and then Bar open, it was fun.

I was going home at 3am (pretty respectable for me), until some guy said, 'Hey mate are there any night clubs around here', so I sez, 'There's Yeah, Yeahs', and before I knew it, I was going too. Strictly as a wing man, within 20 minutes he had some chick pinned against the wall, and there was me thinking he had a lot of interest in her mouth, maybe he was dentist workaholic and didn't know how to relax, off the job?

So, Sunday, I went to the Fitzroy artists market to get a stall holder Nina, to fix my necklace, I seem to spend so much time hanging out with her, because of my necklace, linky repair jobs, we could be considered an 'Item', but the only item that concerns me is getting my necklace that Tulassi (my English Shaman made for me as a protector to fix for me, it would appear I need more protection that my Foo Dog tattoo and condoms, at certain times?)

Other kinds of protection

The Australian AKA Luke was telling me how when he goes to the gym, it’s very personal for him, he doesn't like talking to anyone or going to any classes on offer, I don’t understand this logic, but it would explain a few odd balls around the place

So Sunday, I went to the gym, for my sins, before it closed, had Vietnamese in Richmond and went to see a Film festival movie an English bird getting kidnapped, which was excellent.

Her daddy paid the 2 million ransom, the kidnappers kill each other, for the life of me, I don’t know why daddy bothered paying, he already cut her out of the will (probably for good reasons) and she had a look in her eye like she was going to keep the loot as she drove home to daddy, with the kidnappers dead in her rear view mirror.

And they all lived happily ever after you say? Probably, but after more twist's and turns than a road in west Cork
Egocentric is a word I learnt yesterday flicking through the newspaper, my brain says, 'I can apply it to a whole nation of people', I told a chick on the tram that last night that was going to Belfast on Tuesday, surly not she was saying, sorry England, but that's just how it is.

Oh yeah, and one other thing, I over heard one of my neighbours say (and I don’t think is was the gay neighbours) say.

‘Do you know when you put your dick in one of those holes’

Referring to toilets, glory be to god, whats the world coming to?

That is the only thing I heard, nothing before or after, and it’s hard to not and piece the full picture of what the story was, wether you want to or not, and I tried, I really did!

As long as i can be protected from myself, i think i'll be fine

Little Lesbians and what else can I remember?

So, in an effort to curb my 'ways', I thought I’d hit the gym on Friday night, and this was achieved successfully, they were celebrating their 1 year anniversary of being open at the gym, with a DJ and to be honest, the music was so good, it was hard to leave, I left eventually.

So, I went to see a band with Steve from the Gypsy bar, Steve’s friend's comments, the Truck driver as he called her (a big lesbian), come flooding back to my brain (the bit that's left), well she said 'Watch out for the little lesbians', and then it occurred to me, there was heaps of 20 year old lesbians, everywhere.
It occurred to me, in most countries, it would take people a life time to realise, maybe a failed marriage and 2 kids to realise they were lesbian, but in Australia, it's something you come to grips before you leave school.

Later I went to see Fayez, he was about to finish work, so I started talking to 2 chicks at the bar, all was going well, until one of them pointed out, 'That’s sexist', me not wanting to appear too foolish, I didn't want to say, 'What's sexist ?', then one of them said, 'We're going back to our previous conversation', then she says, 'So, anyways, I’m fucking this guy that works at Coles', it was like something out of Family guy, classic!

I and Fayez went to Yeah Yeahs, where he is supposed to get cheap drinks since his boss owns that bar too, I pointed this out, then he got the right price; maybe I’m to believed after all? At one point I was chatting to some chick at the bar, she bought 3 pints of Cider and disappeared, my friend the next day that I told this to said, 'How long was she gone before you started drinking Cider?' Good question, that's a very good question.

Some girl was talking to Fayez, I remember the chick being all nervous, he does resemble Phil Lynnott and it would appear a real babe magnet, the nervous chink was pulled away by her friend, that was the end of that encounter, we had to laugh.

Phil Lynott, allbeit, a bronze version

A lot of fun was had, since I’ve been going to the gym most days, I get a much better reception when I go out, is this a reflection of city people and city life?
Fayez was telling me, 'For all the time I’ve been here, I don’t really have any friends I can call and people I can rely on', this is true fro me too, but if you live in the city amongst transient people, what can you expect?
Got home, all I had to do was get up, wash clothes and go and see 'Psycho' at 3pm, with a full orchestra, this would prove more challenging than first expected.

I was so happy, I thought I was in love, later I just realised I was just really happy, but there's more.

So after a spinning RPM class, I haven't sweated that much in life (and not came at the end), and it felt good (for a change), I think the fit instructor was winking at me too, but that's another story (not like taking ho's money, but there you go)

I read yesterday that interval training is far better for you than spending all day in the gym and the spinning class was exactly that, I was absolutely fecked.

I thought I’d be good and lift some weights after, but the body (which will be referred from here after as the 'bod'), so off I went to see new production of 'Mary Poppins'

I was reading the Victorian government spent a small fortune of tax payer’s money bringing it to town (they wouldn't say how much, do we need to know how much fabulous things cost? Does fabulous have a price?
There was a lot of convincing to get it here for the winter festival. The guy that produced Mary Poppins has been trying to do it for the last 17 years and he's been doing a lot of schmoosing himself with the people at Disney.

They auditioned something like 650 people (probably just chicks) for the part of Mary Poppins, this was hardest thing. All I had to do was click a few times, get there and sit down.
But oh, what joy, If all the people that made it happened could have seen the smile on my faces, they surely would have felt rewarded many times over for their many sleepless nights, long days of negotiation and rehearsals, hard work and a million other things on and off the stage that went on that I never saw.

So anyways, since Bill Bailey last week got 5 out of 5, I too will give Mary Poppins, 5 out of 5, and this, she said 'Don’t reach for the stars, reach for the heavens, then you get all the stars too', what great advice for a young fella, some would say 'Reformed character', starting off in the world, like myself.
http://www.lyricstime.com/mary-poppins-anything-can-happen-lyrics.html

See for yourself:

Anything can happen if you let it
Sometimes things are difficult but you can bet it
Doesn't have to be so

[MARY POPPINS]

If you reach for the stars
All you get are the stars
But we've found a whole new spin
If you reach for the heavens
You get the stars thrown in

If you reach for the stars
All you get are the stars
But we've found a whole new spin
If you reach for the heavens
You get the stars thrown in

So for this little tid bit, I will have to add 1 star, as it says in the world best selling book, 'Teach a man to fish', the bible was right after all, Mary Poppins taught me all this, pity she couldn't have done it when I did my spelling tests, my grades were so low, I never got any stars, I could have just added my own. A million of them!!

Hallelujah, praise the lord, stars, heavens, everything and Mary Poppins, a well earned 6 out of 5 stars from me.

Is this the hardcore Melbourne?

So anyways, I went to see Bill Bailey, he was interesting for sure, he looked like a very pleasant white skinned Klingon, he wasn't so much funny and told me and the others occupying the sell out performance, interesting 'things' and I was amused, even entertained.

And he had guitars, he talked music, politics, the show was about 'Doubt', there was no doubt in my mind from the word go, he knew where things were going and it went.
One of the things he said about music, is that 'Music is individual, it's not about being the best, it's about you, and it’s your take on it' and I might be para phrasing a bit there, but not much.

One of the doubter's he did mention was of Thomas the douber

Thomas, looking at Jesus wound, he didn't believe that he could survive it, doubter? No, Thomas the realist i think, they didn't have tank engines in those days either, can you believe it?

Thomas has a look

Apparently he was a doubter for not believing everything he was told, and they probably didn't even have the 'Herald sun'  in those days, what did they wrap their fish and chips in then, I can hear you say? God knows?

Random update, my team lead starts telling me this story

Bill does 2 encores, everyone leaves, most people leave and just as the majority have left, a with Klingon head stick out and says ‘So, is this the hardcore Melbourne’, and out he comes again, i hate queuing up and waiting, maybe I should have pointed this out to him, but I was happy to be mistaken for hardcore.

Everybody ‘hardcore’ that wants gets a fist row seat, gets one, me too, he does a few songs and off he goes, show over, the end, a very entertaining night indeed and I learnt lots of random things like Charles Darwin, studies Barnacles after publishing his theory of evolution, he asked if anyone knew about them, some chick said ‘They’re molluscs’ anyone else he sez, some guy said their penis is 9 time’s the size of their body, he’s impressed, a very learned audience.

He was telling the same story in Scotland, to fishermen, and asked the same question, some old guy said, They stick to boats’, anyone else know anything about Barnacles? A voice down the back says ‘Tell him nothing!’, I had to laugh.

Another random gig, there was a Barnacles expert in the audience, Bill says ‘You must me the top expert in the world in Barnacles?’, after quizzing him, he says ‘No, no’, ‘Your in the top 3 then?’, ‘Yes, yes, I would be’

There was a bit about some philosopher that was a vegetarian because he thought animals were trapped troubled souls

Back to the story.........
Later I get out of the Bill Bailey gig, I’m a bit hungry, so I go to Mc Donald’s across the way, but I only have $5.50, I get a small cheese burger meal for $4.20 and add bacon for a cool $1 and give the change to some charity, good deed of the day done right there.

I can eat like this guy

So I’m doing my impression for the fantastic Mr Fox eating the purchased food with the condiment of my choice, ketchup or tomato sauce as they call it, down under and it was retrieved from 'Down under' the counter, is there a connection I wonder?

So, just then I see my tram, the 96 comes, I grab my bag and get running, I run for the tram, and other's are running from other directions, they get on, just as I get to the door, the tram take off and I feel like the fat kid that comes last and there is a lion at his heels, it was laughable.

But since it was a nice night, no harm done, I was by the sea, night time, not a bad place to be, so I walk a few stops, to get the next tram that will be along, in about 20 minutes.

Then a 'P' (provisional) learner kid is out driving daddy’s new pick up truck with his friends and looks out at me and says 'Hey' and flips me the bird, thinking he was cool, totally random, I had to laugh, it wasn't the kind of thing you'd expect for a Tuesday night? But there, that's how it went down.

St Kilda videos

Ment to put these videos up ages ago, enjoy!!

Kieran to the rescue

Videos are from the St Kilda night market

Looks like I’ll be doing a first aid course tomorrow, 2 day's paid by my work, only because they are very serious about health and safety, I pointed out in a meating, it's all good logging accidents and safety observations, but what do we do if someone has a heart attack of hurts themselves, who knows first aid?

Well, it would appear, in 2 business days, I will be the 'go to' guy, no job too big or small. Maybe I could do 'Nips and tucks' on the side? Botox is very popular, I believe? Might have to stay away from doing abortions, just for now, I still don’t know anything.

I went to a party the other night, a woman that used to be pregnant, isn't pregnant anymore, she was carrying a little baby in her arms, and this was something to look at. Curiosity, killing the cat and all, I launch in with 'So, how big was she when she came out?' this was very amusing to those who know about this sort of stuff, but I didn't know and truth

Stop the beat a minute....

Kieran can do any Botox treatment's or treat any gun shot wounds, and that means no putting plasters on knees for little people that fall off their skate boards. Too many plasters will make you gay anyways.

It appears I’m not a permanent employee and that's not good enough if someone has an accident, I have to go and find a permanent employee and let them do it, maybe I could phone a friend for 2 points.

I'm not sure, it's never really happened before, I’ve never been at the scene of a serious accident.

I'm reminded of the scene in Family Guy where Stewie Griffin is about to pass out and he says 'Don’t let me be treated by a black doctor'.

It's a bit like one of my theorys about going bushwalking, always bring a German, because they always do everyting your supposed to do and bring everything yor supposed to bring, it's in their nature.

Just dont go getting a heart attack near me, i might give you a kick in the ear to revive you. Hey, i saw it on Family guy once, and it didn't do them any harm?

My ratings were so low, i could have been voted off the internet!!!

Before, Mamma mia! Why no one like me?

So, I logged on to Google Analytics to see who my fans are, where they are logging in from, and to my surprise the app says (with confidence) I was down - 100% this month, in death red)
Kieran's brain starts to whirl into motion, this would be the only technical challenge I was going to face all day (and writing now, from what was then the future, it was the most technical thing I did all month)
My mind flashed back to when I re-jigged the side-bar and the like, I took some useless stuff out, now, but on retrospect, it was quite useful after all, which would prove, you should always try and think before you do, err....things?
Well anyways, I’m back in action, since rectifying the, non French, non-blond, non-blue eyed, non-Latino, non-thinking Irish guys mistake, I got 5 hits, now I plan on rolling with the punches, now that I know where they will be coming from again.
I see, said the blind man.

Now, the state of things

Bill Bailey the Irish education system and me

So, yesterday I’m having a quick scanc (colloquial in Cork for 'look') at the paper, minding my own business, and I get to the gig review section, there's a review of a gig that was on, some guy did a tribute to John Coltrane, Aghhh!!!
No, I don’t want to hear about all this past tense stuff that I wanted to go and see, culturally, the gym is ruining me, albeit ruining me and making me look buff, so, there's a trade off to this new life 'style' switch.

Then, and only then I get to the review about Bill Bailey, I'm not much of a fan...yet. I haven't seen much of his stuff, I’ve heard people tell me how they love him, he's been on QI, yeah yeah, I haven't been 'turned on' to his humour, but what did catch my attention was the simple fact that the reviewer gave him 5 stars, five stars out of 5 stars.

Now, when I was a kid, or should I say, when I endured a child hood in Ireland, and was forced through the education system like a square going through a round hole, one of our teachers would give out stars for spelling tests and the like, I never got any, so Mr Bailey, now that I come to think about is beginning to remind me of some teachers pet, him and his 5 out of 5, just who the fuck does he think he is anyways?

This to me is unbelievable, for a guy that never got stars, apart from seeing stars once or twice and maybe waking up in a ditch in the middle of the night? Quite unbelievable, this is why I bought the ticket, there was me thinking he's Jesus after coming back (you know he said he would), or the anti-Christ?

So, curiosity killing the cat (animal lovers turn your heads away, both of them) I have to go and have a look and I can do this for the simple fact that the review was about a gig that he did, past tense, he was doing 2 further gigs in the future tense, last night, and tonight, still future tense!!

So I bought a ticket and the tension was relieved, I can go to the gym first, then go to the gig, they have a cloak room, my gym bag can go there, it's all about the gym these daze, I’m going for cheap, healthy kicks, totally legal and it works!

I started planning this yesterday, I enquired at my gym if it would be possible to leave my bad in the lockers provided,

I said:

'I know it's probably against rule 27 of your little red book, 'Bags cannot be left in the lockers over night'

I don't think they got the Little red book bit?

Alas, 'No' was the reply, I was told

'The bag might go to the lost and found and auctioned'

To which I replied

'That’s ok, I’ll have my credit card bill in it and you can auction that too'

If blank looks could tell stories, another Twilight series would have been composed in those few seconds at that counter.

What do you do?

Photos are from a google search 'Trying to do intellegent things'

I do this, at work?
Truth be told, my contract is being extended, by 6 months, i feel a bit like a guy a space man going into a black hole, before he's all the way in, he'd be stretched over 1km.
I saw that somewhere once, now I have banging tunes, lets see where this journey goes


I tried to get some black hole references, but instead I got other references, which are interesting anyways, so why dont you have a look, it wont be the dumbest thing you've ever learnt about, and it would be very hard to someone to disprove any of your new found knowledge, especially in a club, and who knows you might sound intellegent (not in a club)

To continue, the little adventure of the weekend, I will continue when I woke up, I checked my text messages, only to get a clearer picture, everything was still a bit upside down, which is fine I guess if your in Melbourne and from Ireland, which I am, so maybe I passed that test?

I get a text message from Luke, which was something like

'I hope your not still up from last night'

I wasn't, not that there would have been a chance of that, I was like one of those fellas that jump the starters gun and get disqualified, I put myself out of any running, unless the running was some how horizontal related, I’m not very competitive, this much is true.

Luke was starting French lessons on Saturday, a big night wouldn't have made sense, but he does like making love with his face, so what can I say to that?

So for my sins, I walked to the gym, did lots of weights and sat in the Sauna, only because I knew it would make me feel better, and if anyone needed to feel better, it was me, later I bought new headphones and I was back to square one, 1 new jacket, new earphones, if you do the crime, you do the time, the result of my slightly inebriated escapades.

I told people the only intelligent thing I did was not drink wine, Steward informed me today I drank wine, so maybe intelligence and Friday night's don’t go hand in hand?

Called into Gypsy bar on Saturday, met some people, ended up staying longer than expected, Luke from Sydney was keen to go out, every time he's been out with me, he's picked up, it wasn't to be his night, there wasn't much to pick up beside a cold either

Sunday, I went to the gym, it's the only intelligent thing I do right now and I try and do it every day, I am getting results too, people treat you different when your looking fit, strangely enough?

And this is what I do and I get productive by putting these words into sentences and somehow a big picture unravels it's self.

So, it was just another Friday, or was it?

Meyself and Nas, before the bad chemicals kicked in in my brain

So it all started when, we had a work drinks dinner thing, on Friday night, I was contemplating the benefits of free beer, versus going to the gym, the gym lost the battle, free beer won the day and off we went.

It seems like always the case whenever there is free anything on offer, people (like me) will consume as much as possible like your getting value for your money, it was Premium and then there was 'Crownies' (bottled beer), and they are normally expensive. I drank quite a few, you never know when the prices of things will go up.


In regards to free alcohol, I need to be less like me and more like...........something else, probable some sort of space alien?

I remember looking at my watch at one point, thinking 'It's only 7 O’clock', it felt much later, by 9pm or so I was pretty wasted and it was over and I went to E55 with the new guy Nas on my team, it was too early to go home.

Highlight of Friday, nothing much, I’m sure we were talking to some couple from Tassie in E55 and my jacket got stolen from the same bar, the state I was in, I accepted this little known fact and off I went, back to Fitzroy.
For all my efforts, I think I proved to myself that free alcohol, can be in fact the most expensive

Saturday I went to the gym for my sins, after I called into E55 on the brief chance that they would have had it, but alas, no joy, I came out of the bar, there were jackets reduced to $68, so I bought one, I told the guy in the shop it was a message from the universe, which it was, out with the not so old and in with the new.

I wonder do these fellows ever have to deal with the plight of free beer?

I got a call from Dave Noonan on Saturday morning, his first question was

'What were you smoking last night, I just listened to your voice mail'

, I was looking at other messages I sent, thankfully to people that 'understand me', somewhat?

The voice mail was something about how he should leave his girlfriend and elope with me, hmmm, famous last words, i hope, they are not.


I sent Stuart this one

'Hey fucker, tell Ami (not an intelligent meter) to bitch slap you for being a teenager tonight'

, next morning I rang him, but he said he found the message 'humorous', no major damage done there, phew!!

Photo of the day

From now on, it will be gym first any drinking will be much later, much later!

Kieran gets an extension, prison row this is not

I got this photo from DJ Drop the Lime's website


So after a week of looking at my options, taking stock, the end of the week being now, and my contract being up next week, next Saturday if fact, I have been offered an extension
and Kieran says 'Ok, so'.

You see the thing was I was thinking (this is a symptom, I know.) about other roles going in Melbourne.

But here are the facts are:

1, I currently don’t do much and I get paid well
2, It would look good to future employers if they see my contract was extended
3, I'm under no stress
4, My test lead is quite good and this makes life easier for me, we have a laugh
5, I've gotten quite used to going to the gym at 5pm on the dot
6, I go for long lunch breaks with Vince others
7, No one gives me grief
8, Work needs me as a lot of people left and no more people are authorised to come on board
9, I'm out in 6 months anyways, back to Europe and hopefully Brazil
10, I need to get my wisdom tooth out in a few weeks and that will be no problem here
11, If I went somewhere else I might have to work hard
12, I don’t work hard here
13, We are moving location, up one level, I’m going up in the world, and a change is as good as a holiday!

So, Kieran's brain says, you actually got it good, stay where you is boy.

So I was listening to this mix of Busy P, and I got flash backs of getting my right arm tattooed in Peru, oh the flash backs!

Dont try, just be the fool!!

I read recently, the reason people do not succeed is because people are afraid of failure, Tom Robbins in one of his little stories was telling the story about a fool, because the fool was not bothered about being seen as a fool, he experienced more and learnt more, only because he wasnt concerned about being seen as intellegent.

‘Try again. Fail again. Fail better.’ - Samuel Beckett

And now the intellegent business analysis would tend to side with the fool.

Fail better next time, I think it's actually good advise, your going to fail sometime, do it with some style and bounce back like Tigger from the Winnie the Phoo stories

My mate Vince showed me his daughter's face book status, it would appear his daughter isn't as driven as she once was and now wants to leave school and get a bar job and do nothing, she is 17.

What’s wrong with this, you might think?

The quote on her Facebook page was

'Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.
Winnie the Pooh

Well, for me it took me until recently to be able to do nothing, partly because I feel like I’ve done just about everything else want to do in life (this and the next) I’m pretty happy where ever I am, for once and for all, but I’m not 17, maybe I could be a 18 year old, mentally only.

I was on the couch last night after going to the gym and 1 most excellent Royal Derby Chicken Parmajna in my belly, on my bean bag watching TV and being very aware of watching TV and being quite happy do so, what do I have to prove to myself or anyone?

Vince’s daughter is 18, and she's already this way, when I was younger, an age, less than when I was going through my terrible 32's, I wanted to do everything and experience everything at once, just like Dean Moriarty out of Jack Kerouac's book, 'On the road', a bit of a maniac, but now I’m better and getting my kicks by going to the gym most days

I remember thinking, it would be cool to be the kind of person to be able to have a cup of tea, read my book and go to bed, and be happy doing that, because I’ve been there and done that, more and more I’m getting there, but Vince's daughter is already there. It reminds me of the UNIX command ‘Less = More'.

Too much fun is no fun, maybe I just don’t have the same amount of energy anymore and I’m more selective on how I spend the energy I do have, instead of throwing it all over the place.

Since I have lunch with Vince quite often, this Winnie the Pooh quote is for Vince

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?",

I do love lunch, Vince does too, I think we can both agree on that one!

Lewis Caroll says

Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.

I'll be watching the replay of the replay, but which one?

The cork crest

Watched the replay of Cork and Waterford on the weekend, Cork had it in the bag and there was 3 goals in 6 minutes and it was all to play for in the live replay. The boys from Waterford led a bit of a revolution against a sure Cork win in the Munster final, an epic game indeed, no other game compares to that, it was cracking.

I watched the game with a fella from Waterford, just the 2 of us in the bar, he had seen the game the night before, and it was so close I was beginning to wonder if Cork actually lost, then Cork went up, then it was a draw. His parting comments were 'In your own words, that's what I’m here for’ after Waterford scored a last minute goal; how right he was, indeed, where else in the world would you want to be?

So I’ll probably be watching the replay of the Live replay, since it's been played at 7pm in Ireland, it gets dark at night time, it would appear in the old country, and that could be 10pm or later, so that means the game will be on 10am Sunday.

The day before being Saturday and a party being on, it needs to be attended by my good self, only since I actually got invited, gone are the days of crashing parties, how civilized things are becoming, i even have an invite.

Off with his head!!! Viva la revolution!

It's time to conjure up all that's good about being French, drink wine, eat cheese, bread, make love with your face and get snooty.


To the Bastille

Is the revolution here yet? Coz I’m ready, I’m about as ready as I’ll ever be. I've been practicing my lines day and night, 'Off with his head!!’ I think it will solve quite a few problems for me, indeed it will.


I remember reading the Bastille storming in 1789 was led by a fella from Waterford, I remember trying to find a reference with the all mighty Google a few years ago, but no joy.
But joy now, oh, what joy, but read this first, maybe not so much joy?

Bastille now

I went to the Bastille when I was in Paris, I met a guy from Paris, he had never been there, and I thought there would be something left of the Bastille, but no, it's all gone, now there is a tower

Bastille then

A lot of people in Paris have Irish parents I was told, one French guy I was talking to was telling me, I met one Irish guy, that had very French manner, but looked Irish, and they have so many expressions with their faces, I find it very entertaining, I really do.

p.s.

 Viva la revolution!  All those English types looked better with no heads anyway's!!

Better late than never......they say, question is 'Who's they?'

I'm a bit late this month, but that's ok, I’m not a chick at least I hope I’m not, but I do try getting in contact with my feminie side, and I do look pretty in pink.

Mr Hare was a bit late too, i wasn't the only one

I saw these movies last week, and they were pretty good, it was at one of my favourite long running movie night called 'Splodge'

The funny thing is, I told a friend about this movie night and he burst out laughing, it turns out the first porn magazine he ever saw (this was way before the internet and porn was a hard thing to come by for young boys that wanted to be older, but not that old)

Anyways the magazine was about women (it's always about them, they are an important part) getting 'man juice' squirted in their eye (ouch!)

The first was.....

A boy and his horse
Kieran says:

It did show the young kid stealing money from a table, which would have made the kid a thief, but he went back to the table and put half the money back, which would indicate to teach kids, it's better to be half a thief than a corporate whore and take everything, I felt like I was really maturing on the inside folks!!

Then the kid and his buddies break into some garden and steal the horse, which make them no better than a bunch thieving gypsies, if it was the wild west they could have been lynched, horse and all!!

THE TORTOISEAND THE HARE (1935)

Max Hare ( - the name is a pun on that of the famous boxer, and some-time bit part actor of the period, with a, likewise, cocky personality, MAX BAER - BAER, today, is arguably better known today for siring MAX BAER JR., the actor who played JETHRO BODINE on the classic TV series THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES (1962)

Kieran says:

It's pretty much what I expected, but I didn't know the bit about the Hillbillies or the Beverly hills bit MAX BAER bit.

MACK AND MYERFOR HIRE: THE CADDIES (1963)

Kieran says:

Vaudeville, slap stick stuff, nothing new, a lot of Charlie Chaplin Jackie Gleason sort of stuff

Malachy Mc Court, brother of Frank once threw Jackie out of his bar in New York, imagine this? The most famous comedian TV personality in the US is thrown out of an Irish pub in NY; it would have been a strange sight indeed?

* THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES: TRICK OR TREAT (1959)

Kieran says:

I don’t think I’ve ever see a whole episode, so this is the one I will tick off on the list of things I need to do before I finally croak, and maybe I’ll get a kiss from a princess?

Now to one of the weirdest movies you will see in a long time, the script must have been written by a bunch of (lord of the flies) 10 year olds (mob rules!)

Review says:

THE PHANTOM EMPIRE! - well, that's how the title on Splodge's print reads, but, in fact, this is not the famous Mascot Pictures' 1935, 12 part, SciFi/Western crossover serial of that name, but the 1940 feature-length cut-down of it ( - also known as MEN WITH STEEL FACES, or RADIO RANCH).

Singing cowboy, GENE AUTRY, popular radio entertainer, broadcasts a daily show from the Radio Ranch - the Ranch's band are called The Beverly Hillbillies! His contract stipulates that he must never miss a program, or else he'll be immediately cancelled.

Unknownst to GENE, though, the Ranch sits atop the fabulous underground city of Murania, whose Queen Tika zealously guards the scientific secrets and rare elements therein. AUTRY has to save Radio Ranch from unscrupulous land-grabbers trying to get to a secret uranium deposit on the property. The people of Lemuria inhabit the advanced underground civilization (also called 'Mu', for short) - which can be reached only by an elevator which opens up somewhere near the uranium deposits on Radio Ranch.

The villains know about it, though, and want the yellow cake, and do all they can to force GENE to miss a broadcast, so they can conquer Murania without interference. GENE is aided by a group of talented youngsters, known as the Junior Thunder Riders - the Muranians are aided by a gaggle of robots wearing tin cowboy hats.

The Muranians have lived 25,000 feet below the surface for the past 100,000 years, creating a technologically- advanced city, which includes the dodgy-looking worker bee-type robots with little steel hats and little steel noses. They don't mind swinging an axe - or attempting to burn the face off our hero, GENE. These machines certainly weren't originally built to harm tho - the robots used were constructed for an earlier movie called DANCING LADY (1933), in which they were part of a dance sequence!

Very high tech stuff here!!

Kieran Says:

And that was my night last Monday night, I was glad it was over, the end of the movie had more twists and turns than a labyrinth, who ever was responsible for the screenplay was completely insane, i'm hoping it was a room full of monkeys trying to bang out some Shakespeare!!!

Dr Zhivago, I give up, i'm glad Boris Pasternak didn't give up

So, my brave attempt to read one of my favourite movies as a book, Dr Zhivago, I get flash backs of a guy in Bolivia, his quote was 'Why read the book, when you can watch the movie', there is some truth in this analysis now, I though it was funny then, now I’m thinking he had a point.

I had great intentions, but the truth now is, I’m not sick anymore, so lounging around the place watching movies and reading on the bean bag is really not an option anymore.

So, my friend Steward gave me 2 of John Birmingham's books (John do you have Google key words on, you getting this plug?) that you could read sitting on the toilet, not because they would help any process along, but because they are short (and no pictures, boo hoo, a picture tells a 1000 words for gawd's sake!!)

So, my literary ambition has taken a bit of a dive, I really wanted to read Dr Zhivago, but with the gym time I’m putting in, it wasn't possible, I will return the book from whence I found it.

I might even try and find the movie, after the gym, all I’m fit for is lying on the bean bag and watching the box and I don’t care, I like it (and I think it likes me too!!)
I don’t have to be anywhere, or go anywhere, where I am is fine, I’ve done everything else, except get fit, and maybe a bit buff (with 2 f's, did you see that)
But anyways there is a CIA link (VIA hyper link, pretty nifty, eh?) of how this novel got published, cold war stuff (and i'm not just talking about the Melbourne winter)

It's short and sweet and worth a read, there you go, i will attempt this novel again, for what i read, it was great, i gust didn't have the time it deserved.