Wednesday's movie hits the spot (and i a little bit of wine hits the spot too)

I know what your thinking, was it 5 bullets or 6?

Monday Hong Kong moovie, no good....for me, too sci-fi, Tuesday Korean moovie, no good too, couldn't get into it. Wednesday moovie French and it was awesome! I loved it, it of course being a true story called 'A girl on a train', true story too!


So, as is my norm, watching these movies, I consumed a bottle of the old 'vino', went down well, a little too 'well', might have to stop that 'carry on', but there is another movie on tonight, Arghhhhh, crash bang. What to do?
So anyway, I woke up, just before 6am, someone was trying to kill me and some other guy that I was rolling with, that was ok, I had a gun that 'Dirty Harry' would have been proud of and I was giving as good as I got, I was holed up somewhere waiting to put a bullet in the 2 guys chasing us, the other guy was telling me to be careful. So I was awake, or should I say I awoke or I could say...

Source, Zhuangzi

Once upon a time, I, Chuang Chou, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Chou. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man. Between a man and a butterfly there is necessarily a distinction. The transition is called the transformation of material things.

Yeah, but putting bullets in muthaf*ckers, is a lot more fun!!!

Saw one of these too this morning!

The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, so I got up and got motivated and went back to bed after drinking a lot of water and then I got up and went to the gym, low and behold, the other RPM instructor was there, the Americano, I was in an all girl class, cycling. High points included the Americano instructor telling the girls to stop the bouncing they were doing on the bikes, engage the core, 'Whets all the bouncing about? Where did you get that?', after hearing this 10 times, I had to say 'It's from the club', it was too funny, especially since we started off with DR Dre track 'California', 'In da city....'


She told the girls to watch me and try and catch me at the pace, I was cycling, I replied, 'It hasn't happened yet', we were coming out with some good stuff, it was still before 7am for gawds sake, so then after the class, I was a bit 'fecked', so in I got to the Sauna and I tell a chick in there about the 'Bourke and Wills' exhibition, it's closing in a few days, no, she's never heard of it, I tell her she must have picked a good day to hang out and smoke behind the bike shed.
The ill fated journey of Bourke and Wills

The 'Bourke and Wills' is the most famous story after Ned Kelly, you have to laugh, NEVER heard it, I should have checked her passport. After I was feeling like a bit of a 'Kip' and I remembered 'The sleep pods', my gym has sleep pods, so I went there, oh joy, a bit of a rest-een and of to the place where they pay me lots of mullah and I try and do what I’m told and not cause any trouble (I’m in it for the money!)

Da boys, Bourke and Wills

Now, looks like there is a Mexican movie on later, 'The Desert Within', could be worth a look, after all the TV is going, everything is going, so maybe i should take advantage of my situation of lying on the couch, with a little glass-een?
Happy days


 
Oh yeah, Ned Kelly

Kieran is hunting for a house mate, could it be you?

Photos are from this cool blog

So, this is what seems to be, happening? So, you may or may not know, my housemate Naomi I moving out, the love conquers all, as you might know, before the boyfriend didn't know about living with her, he liked living with his mates, why make things complicated. For gawd's sake?

So, what ever convincing has been done, Naomi is moving out, someone else will be moving in.
So, I see one chick on couchsurfing.com, she needs a house, I tell her to come around, I put an advert on melbourne.gumtree.com.au, I get calls from people, I tell them to come around. I checked my horoscope

Pisces:

If you sit back and expect things just to happen, you are going to miss the boat. Certainly the cosmos can point you in the right direction, yes the movements of the planets and lights can guide you to the best times to do things, but if you do not take action then nothing will happen! Only you have that power, so stay alert for opportunities in your job. For some this may mean a re-location for others a 're-location' of thought and approach - see change as exciting. A fantastic night to network and have some fun.

So, I’m thinking all this housemate thing could be fun, people seem enthusiastic, fun and people want to talk to me! I remember when I used to be house hunting (years ago), after finding somewhere, I kept house hunting, only because it was so much fun, meeting the sometimes hungover people on a Saturday morning.

So, network and fun, eh? I can do that, that's something I could 'apply; myself to, so, I think, since the room wont be available until the 11th, that gives me a full week to 'Do interviews' and all of a sudden the words from Mary Poppins come crashing down, 'If you look for the fun in a job then it's a .....[Google says] 'For every task that must be done there is an element of fun. You find the fun and, Snap! The job's a game'

Game on!!!

One for the road?

 Here you go!!

And i've got a passion........

I've been saying it for a long time, this writing is the thing that keeps me sane and Ozzy's 'Diary of a madman' comes popping into my head?

So on Sunday, I heard the most excellent classical guitar while sitting in the sun outside Gypsy bar, while I was getting stuck into a few bloody Marys, or negotiating them towards my beak. I did it well too. However you would like to phrase it?

Later, on his break the guitarist (he played most excellent music by composers I listened to when I was about 17) asked me,

'What do you do, what’s your passion?'

To which I could reply 'I write', for it's something I do every day, I’m doing it right now, and you are what you do on a daily basis', to which you could probably 'Expand' this idea, you could do it, but you probably wont, so let me do it for you and say

'Hey, I go to the toilet every day'. Am I a piece of crap?

You might do your number 1's and 2's, damn, add that shit up! Where's a calculator when you really need one? And what was Hendrix on about with the whole, 'If 6 way 9?', was he smoking too much, am I not not smoking enough? Who has the answers?

Will someone tell Google, so I can be enlightened, please? It's not going to happen if I sit under a tree, that just doesn't work anymore.

Sitting under a tree time?

You are what you eat, I’m an apple or banana in the mornings, Japanese curry in the afternoon, Asian in the evening, noodles in a pot with 2 eggs and a lot of chilli, the hotter the better and cooked in under 10 minutes, with maybe a steak night thrown in, cheap pizza at the local some other night (that doesn't look like pizza at all!)

It's a pizza base with stuff plopped up on it, that you can eat, but forget trying to get a slice of that in your head of yours. Since we get fruit at work, I usually get stuck into that too, more so in the evenings, after the gym in fact (if this was speed dating, would I be making a good impression, so far?)

Reader, are you going to eat the rest of that burger? No? Thanks, I’ll have that, so I’m that too, all of the above and what ever you don’t eat too, maybe? What else you got in that bag for me?

I called over to Waterford Dave last night, in fact it was a quest that took up most of my night, he lives on the other side of town, I had to go and get my gym bag, I left it there on Friday night, before going out in his hood (make no joke about un-circumcised people) with himself and the Eagle, Friday night, part 1 in a crazy weekend.

It's a poor excuse for not going to the gym, not having that bag, but since I didn't feel like going to the gym anyways, and who would believe?

'The dog ate it'

Especially since there is a dog and it's a poodle, there's no point on extending this truth here?

Yarra river

So, a walk along the Yarra was the next best option, at least it was something, something romantic too, and since it's indirectly on the way to Dave's place and I had the time, make way there people, here I come and I went. Maybe a walk and a tram ride would do me good? And it did, and it goes on, continue.......

Boston Legal

Dave's 'passion' is watching Boston legal and avoiding girls he's consummated a bit of love with on a Saturday night, especially if they are horny, we watched one episode of Boston Legal, not my thing really, I wont be doing it again, or so I thought?

But some comments from my soon to be ex-house mate Naomi, might tempt me to give it another try, the episodes are VERY random, I watched one, that I get, that I get, your allowed to watch any series once, in my book, there should be more of that, the randomness that is, so maybe it's not so bad after all. I'm all about random, and Japanese food at 12pm and Gym every day after work. No exceptions. Yeah, me, real random me boy! Not!

Osho

Maybe I could work an Osho teaching into this, somewhere, just to make sense of it all, maybe this?

'Remember one basic thing: unless the pattern of your mind is thrown away, unless you are "de-patterned", unless your conditioning is thrown away and you are de-conditioned, you will not know what reality is ― you will know only interpretations. Those interpretations are the workings of your own mind.

Un-patterned reality is the only reality. And this technique is to help you to un-pattern, to de-condition, to dissolve from the mind the words that have gathered there. You cannot look because of them. Whatsoever looks real to you let it be dissolved. '

Which is funny, because one of the main reasons I wanted to learn Spanish was to think in a new way, un learn my previous way of learning, my old way was not the way forward, I’m thinking I might have picked a good example after all?
Steward's commnent on this was...

'I think it is actually a parody.'

And I’ve got a passion.......for one handed clapping?

We didn't pay $40 to be on a floating Revolver!

Photos are from the Screw boat party

Well I did, and in fact, I didn't pay anything, I got a free ticket off of the DJ, Luke Mc D, not that I knew it would turn out like Revolver, but it did, it very well did indeed.
So, let me start at the start, so, lets start with Friday night, there was talk of going out, I just finished in the Gym, I was going home, then before long I was on my way to Burnley to Dave's place, to get off at a train station, I used to live near, that I never got off at? For I used to live in Burnley, many moons ago. But now, I think I should have investigated that commuter route a little bit more, in those days that is, I know better now, moving on.

DJ Luke Mc D

So, I stopped off at a bottle shop, Vodka and coke (a-cola) being the necessary ingredients for what I had in mind, it was get a few in and go out, out being some bar around the corner from Dave (that used to be my hood, should I throw in a 'hood' joke? Something about circumcision maybe?)

We go from there to another place, then it's to the Great Britain bar, a few drinks, some chick liked my scarf, I liked hers, we swopped scarfs, she wanted her scarf back by the end, the 'Evil me' in the back of my mind said 'Fat chance of that lady', just as we were all leaving, I asked a bar chick if they still had the downstairs club, she said yes, so we went downstairs for a look and there was a bit of a party going on. So we stayed there, why not?
So, as you can imagine, on Saturday, was a bit (very) hung over, I was going to go to St Kilda to see the game with the Dave and the Eagle, but after having coffee on Brunswick St and getting my necklace I got in Bolivia from my Shaman Tulassi, fixed for the 4th time by Nina in the Fitzroy Market, I gave up and settled for going to the Royal Derby to watch the Grand Final game and I wasn't disappointed either.

When I was walking or just making my way to Brunswick St I met a guy that's always hanging out and drinking beer, he said to me, 'I wouldn't like to be a cop or work in a bar today', 2 minutes later I see 3 guys fall out of a taxi and fighting between themselves, pretty drunk, one was wearing shorts and sandals, so he had got that drunk that morning and not the night before, as you would probably expect, so it was on already, I checked the time, it was 11.30am.

The crazy guy could have probably added 'Taxi drivers' to his list of his profession to be avoided in Grand Final day.
By the time the game ended, I knew a fair few people around me, promises were made to see each other next week, same time same place, I meant to get one chicks number, she lived in Zone 1, her friend lived in Zone 3, I told her friend that Zone 3 was not an option, I was just going to ask people what zone they lived in, before continuing conversation. It was a laugh, everyone was buying jugs of beer, and everyone was giving you some beer. The game ended, a draw, who could have predicted that?

I put $10 on a St Kilda win; I only did this when I heard the St Kilda captain was booed while trying to give a speech in the city on Friday, during the parade. Not that he would of said anything intelligent anyways, but when you have Collingwood supporters that are mostly 'Bogan', what do you expect?

One chick I talked to bet on a draw, she won $350, another I read about put $900 on a draw, he won $45,000, not a bad day’s work?
After the game, the plan was to get a tram to the boat cruise, I got a free ticket and before long we were off, cruising around the harbour, electronic music pumping, after the cruise there was a party bus to take us to the Lounge.

At one point I met 2 Lesbian Lawyers, at one point a chick came around giving out snacks in her underwear, the Lesbians got very offended, strange I though? How could you possibly be Australian and get offended by something like that? It begged belief.
Later they had a double decker bus to take people to the after party, after an epic night, I had to cut the party off and head home, many phone numbers were swopped, more promises were made, it was sleep time, the party was on pause, but only for a few hours.

When I woke up, there was nothing of it, but to go down the street, looking for hope, first pit stop, Gypsy bar, and a bloody Mary with Olivia, my long running 'date' on a Sunday morning, I thing she likes them more that me, but how can you say no? It was sunny, a guy rocked up and played classical tunes on a guitar that I knew (from when I was 16) the sun was out, everybody had their happy faces on.

Later, it was time to go home, I went through the Edinburgh gardens, 'Looking for hope', inspired by the time when I met a guy in Paris in St Germain, on the same quest, he found the hope in me, I found it with a kiwi , a Scottish guy and a Welsh chick.

Lots of groups were in the park, having beers with friends, summer is coming and how could you be disappointed with that? Everyday, you can wake up in the sunshine in this great country.
So, after a few beers, hope was installed in my world, but not in my bank account, I spent a fortune having maybe too much fun.

At one point I brought up 'Salt and Vinegar', chips and the conversation became very animated all of a sudden, it was hilarious to see people get all of a sudden 'Animated', later more people rocked up and conversation turned to 2 species of birds, and I thought, this is the last thing I though I’d be listening to, it was a world away from what ever was going through my mind previously. Maybe there is hope for everybody, after all?

Aussies that want to 'Pull out' of the commonwealth games. Listen to ME!

'Pulling out' is never is never an option, not if you were raised a strict Irish catholic, just like me. To quote Billy Connelly.

'At the point of ejaculation a pack of wild horses could not pull my arse the opposite direction'

Hold on, hold on! What are we on about again? Oh yeah, the games, the games!!

Now, Aussies, pulling out, oh yeah. Ok, you might have heard something in the news, in fact you can hear lots of things in the news, but that is not the point. So what, a bridge fell down? Maybe the bridge was sleepy?

One hell of a sleepy bridge?

A ceiling in a gym fell down, maybe they were in the wrong gym, it never happens in my gym? Maybe the gym ceiling was sleepy, once I fell down, but that time I was drunk, maybe it's something to do with gravity mal-functioning, but we're not in the 'blame game', but digress?

Feeling sleepy Australia, why dont yea have a kip here then?

I think I have it figured out, the 'core' maybe the 'guts' of the problem, now the thing that Aussies have here and they don’t have there in India, is the fact that here in the bathrooms, they have the 'Half flush' and the 'Full flush' on the toilets, in India they have squat toilets, it's a cultural thing I suppose?

Dual flush is what they are used to in Oz

It seems to me that the Aussies are just acting like a bunch of winging poms, they need to grow up a little and try and understand that that.

Could this not be a competition, who can avoid breaking their neck?

I'm sure the athletes do enough 'squats' as part of their training, now they can incorporate this exercise as a part of their bathroom routine, a sort of silver lining in a cloud?

Listen up here Australia

So, no half flush and the water does goes down the other way, is it really such a big deal? It is another hemisphere after all (see pic above)? Can’t they just get over it and move on and be the best they can possibly be, jump higher, run faster and so on and so forth, there will be plenty of Fireworks, everybody will get drunk, people will find love, some in very unlikely places and everybody will be champions! Isn't this what it’s all about? Or maybe not?

The spirit of competition is reflected in the culture here in Australia, a case in point, if you buy someone a beer, you’re a 'Champion', so maybe they do not even need to go to Deli; they just need to go to a pub and buy rounds of beer

Aussie: 'Wanna beer?

Me: Champion!

Now, Breakfast of Champions!!!

And if you've ever read Kurt Vonnagart, the Breakfast of Champions, the Breakfast of Champion is a Martini, maybe dirty? I can’t remember, I did have a few at the time and it was early in the morning, which would be in the Indian Commonwealth games theme.

So don’t be angry with India Australian your already Champions, in my mind!

So, Australia, I’ll see ye down the pub for a few rounds of drinks, maybe on the way home we can call into a Deli, a clean one for a few Dim Sims, mines a ham and cheese roll!!

I can’t wait, let the games begin!!!!

p.s.
It's all no worries in India, maybe you could learn something people?

But who will nominate the nominator...?

I was warned not to send any more of 'nominations' by the guy that i sent the first nomination about. He was washing his hands in the bathroom, looking very serious.

Apparently the HR chick didn't know how to 'take it', if she asked me i would have probably have told her, 'You take it any way you can, baby'

Australia, where is your sense of humor?
So, failing that, i sent it to a 'select few', this is what i wrote...

Hi all


I would like you to consider Stuart Moncrieff for a AMI Reward & Recognition, Steward is an AMI colleague of great Prestige in the Project for his work Performance and of course Performance testing, multi tasking it would appear, is his 'thing'?

When asking anyone (don't ask god!) what Stewart Moncrieff means to them? Well if they were a fan of anagrams, it would be 'SCUFF TERMINATOR', I suppose the 'terminator' bit could signify his prowess in the defect annihilation? Could 'scruff' somehow be in relation to how he irons his shirts?

To someone else, probably a Klingon? His name anagram could be  'art stew crie moniff',which might not mean anything, on this planet? But which might in fact be some sort of SOS message to a highly evolved species of beings from another galaxy, if it is Steward, I want out of this planet too?
So, in moving forward, I would like to discuss how Steward has contributed to the AMI roll out effort in relation to the following core values 'Safety, Passion, Integrity, Teamwork & Excellence'

Safety - When Steward is navigating the mean streets of Melbourne on a daily basis he wears a high visibility, blood spattered vest, since he has not incurred the force of an automobile and the blood is not his, I can only infer this 'strategy' of 'Staying alive' is working for him, do you think he's a fan of the 'Bee Gee's' too?

Passion - Steward, has been the one for me on this project to lead by example, a bit of a Chis Judd if you like (the Brownlow medal winner). Now, Chris Judd, in round 8 of the AFL league, Carlton were defeated by 56 points, but Chis Judd got 3 Brownlow votes for his effort on this day, a victory in defeat some might thing?

And today, Steward's got my vote!
And to add to this key quality, if you were to judge Steward's by his hair cuts and AMI project was terminated, Steward would not hesitate in shipping off to Iraq to fight for justice, democracy, truth, youth, beauty......and a picture of you? Maybe I’ve been listening to too much music from 'The Whitlam’s' there?

Integrity - Steward's attitude in the office is only inspirational to his colleagues, even though he's a huge fan of Dilbert, he would never consider for a second taking office supplies, or for example taking advantage of the free fruit supplied for our level, his apples are a different variety from everyone elses?

It could also signify, fruit supplies here isn't good enough for Steward? Which would beg the question, how his ancestors even came to be in Australia in the first place? (See 'art stew crie moniff' above)

Teamwork - Steward, it seems to me, is the kind of person that would not hesitate in 'Take one for the team', maybe he should have been a presidential body guard like that guy in the movie 'In the line of fire'? JFK could have done with a man like our Steward, but since he wasn't even born at the time of that eventful day in Dallas, so there's not much Steward could have done about that great injustice.

Excellence - You might not be aware of this, but Steward is rated 'Top 10 in the world' (maybe David Letterman should receive a copy of this mail?) at his chosen profession, I know this as he confessed this to me one day and in case if your thinking, it wasn't a Sunday, during confession and I'm not allowed to hear confession....anymore, but i digress.

In closing, I hope you will seriously consider Steward, and we can all raise our tea cups for his great efforts...so far.

And the nomination goes to....

I recieved this mail

Hi All,

It's that time again!

If you would like to nominate one of your AMI collegues this month for their great work, please email me by Wednesday COB outlining the reasons why you think the person you're nominating should be recognised in line with SP AusNet's core values - Safety, Passion, Integrity, Teamwork & Excellence. The nominations will be discussed and a presentation will be made at the AMI Morning Tea this Friday.

Thanks & Kind regards,

I replied with the following, nominating my ex-team leader

Hi Marisa

You could give Stephen Tidac an award for his tirelessly approach to the release 1.2 project, i personally would give him a Brownlow medal, but that's just me i guess?

  

Some of the qualities you might want to be made aware of would be:

• Steve showed tremendous 'courage under fire', he might have fought for the French foreign Legion?
• Wasn't afraid to work long hours or ask other's to do the same
• He was very much reports driven, just like me. Steve did a lot of reports and still does, i imagine? 
• He wasn't afraid of tackling people or issues no matter who or where they were (god would have feared his wrath)
• He encouraged social activities, even promoted them in the team i.e. Bowling
• Wasn't afraid to emote and show his personal side i.e. a girlfriend all the way in Ireland (convenient or what?) 
• Half then time Steve never understood any English (should this not be a requirement of working here?)
• For Passion i would say he must of spent an hour a day in a beauty salon having his hair done, his hairstyle looks like it could have been designed in Paris and manufactured in Germany!
• Steve never made any Safety observations, so you might want to deduct him a point here

  

I'm looking forward the AMI Morning Tea this Friday, will we need to bring our own tea bags?
If i can think of any more of Stephen's 'qualities', I'll be sure and let you know.

Regards


Kieran O'Callaghan

 
Now, needless to say:

•  I Bcc'd my ex-team leader, i spelled his name wrong in the 'nomination', on purpose, he wasn't too happy about that, i could deny it was about him, that name does not exist on the system!
• He mailed the HR chick i mailed it to, only to tell he to dis-regard my nomination?
• A couple of hidden jokes included the 'social activities', he pestered me to organise bowling, in the end, no one wanted to go, my fault? I think not?
• He kept telling me he couldn't understand me, half the time, the other times, he doesn't want to understand
• Apparently the HR chick didn't know what way to take the 'Nomination', can you believe that?

Everyone i Bcc'd it to thought it was calss, what's the problem i asks yea?

Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back in the same box.

an old Italian saying...as i was saying

There are far too many serious things going on in the world, it seems much too serious to be funny. Like I said in some place to 2 chicks on the weekend.

'You gotta shake what your mamma gave you'

And you know what was funny? I got 2 completely different reactions for 2 different people, for saying the same thing, and I can't remember where either, does it even matter? And does the Pope wear a funny hat? I saw a sign that said 'Good hat, bad man', but that's neither here nor there.

The Pope as a younger man, 'To masturbate or not to masturbate?'

I got a flashback of this episode when I was walking home the other night, and I saw a club that was starting up, at night, on a Saturday, the motto of the club? 'You gotta shake what your mamma gave you?’ I got a flash back of the 2 chicks (good and evil) and my brain said 'Oh yeah, I remember that', oh yeah indeed, remember, where is not important?
Which is interesting when you think about it?

'Everything good of bad that has happened in you life, has led up to this moment'

One chick decided to 'take offence to my remark' and was rude back; the other chick looked very happy and said 'Are you from Ireland?' I smiled and just moved on, moving on to ponder other things in my brain, probably dum-de-dum-dum-dum...and the like? I'm quite happy to play the role of a fool sometimes, as long as i dont have to make ham and cheese roles and be paid accordingly?

Introducing Elenor

Which reminds me of a quite by Eleanor Roosevelt,

'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent'
'No-one can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission'

And I think there is another one in which she says,

'To be offended, it is like a present, you must first take it'

She was way ahead of the game, here's to Elenor,,,,er.... Rigsby? What am i on about again?
So, I saw this link on being funny
Now something funny and COOL, and very Cork, Give us back Sam Maguire, class!!

So, lets do some work, but now first this.

Ad seen in Ireland

So, after waiting 3 weeks to be able to do work, and harassing like a good football defence, regaining possession and scoring a winner in the dying minute of extra time?

What is he on about now, you think? Quite, what am I on about. So, let me tell you about this.
Last night, I went to the gym, as is my 'good habit', no nuns 'Habit' was injured in this process, basically I felt (like I always do) the need to sweat any excess alcohol out of my system, by Wednesday I’m feeling great, Thursday comes around, than I’ll hit up the gym after work on Friday and it all descends into madness over the weekend and Monday rolls around and it goes round and around, the world it would appear is spinning like a coin. I pick heads; I do not want to fall on my ass, dizzy yet?
I digress, moving on.
The pope was in England recently

So, yesterday, I got me myself to the gym, an RPM class then straight to a V-Core class, Sauna. After all this, I went home, I was tempted to watch the Cork Down replay, and it was being replayed at 10.15pm in the Celtic club. I only got home at 4am, that same morning from watching the live game, I wasn't sure I wanted to go through all the exhilaration again. Have a drink? No, No, no, I want to get fit, remember Kieran? I remembered
I told the receptionist I was going home, to just do normal stuff and try and see how that went. So I went home. Made food, watched TV. The TV guide listed an art house movie, made in Hong Kong in 1963 as a Masterpiece, what had I lose. It was called 'In the mood for love'.

In the mood for love

Set in Hong Kong, 1962, Chow Mo-Wan is a newspaper editor who moves into a new building with his wife. At approximately the same time, Su Li-zhen, a beautiful secretary and her executive husband also move in to the crowded building. With their spouses often away, Chow and Li-zhen spend most of their time together as friends. They have everything in common from noodle shops to martial arts. Soon, they are shocked to discover that their spouses are having an affair. Hurt and angry, they find comfort in their growing friendship even as they resolve not to be like their unfaithful mates.

And it was Monday night after all?
Now all I can initially say about this movie, 'In the mood for love', is that it filled the vacuum in me, it's the thing I’ve needed that I haven't been getting in quite come time. It was pure bliss, aided probably by the fact I had 'nearly' a full bottle of red wine and a considerable amount of chocolate, all from the viewing location of the couch (not mine) and it's not a viewing location that will not be available to me.

Once my housemate moves out to live in sin with her boyfriend and poodle, maybe I should lecture her on the holy chastity of marriage and the value and moral benefit of remaining pure before the most holy sacrament and commitment before god?

Just for good measure, a bit of Fred Negro, a living ledgend in Melbourne

Naomi's (for it's my housemates name, don’t yea know?) is never there, she tends to live at her boyfriends all the time and now that I’ve rediscovered the bliss of great art house movies on her couch, watching her TV, eating chocolate from her fridge, that I bought (it could never be that good, eh?), washing my clothes in her washing machine and the list goes on.

One thing is for sure is I will be living like a Zen Buddhist monk, in a simplified lifestyle, wether I like it or not, it will be summer anyways, soon. Maybe it could be time to get to know my neighbours, not that any of them want to know anybody else, welcome to the joy of living in the big smoke kids.

Fitzroyalty

Being a Fitz-Royalty doesn't mean what it once used to mean, now all the corporate types have moved in.

Then I flicked the channel, very satisfied with myself and Letterman had dogs jumping on a pool of water, one dog ran (on 4 legs of course) and cleared 29 feet, in a pool constructed on the street. Very good Letterman, he probably caused and/or added to existing traffic problem in doing this, I approve David, keep up the good work!!!

Up da Rebels !!!!!

The Cork football team take to the field

I started talking to a fella watching the Cork Down game last night, Cork won, it was an EPIC game too, the people i've met from the north are great people you'll meet.

Sez I: So, what happened to your hand?

Sez the boy from Tyrone: I broke it off of a bouncers head last Sunday night

It was all a laugh and a joke to him some bouncer got stuck in his mate, so he got stuck in one of the bouncers. Luckily for him the bouncer wasn't very good at fighting.

I asked him what his boss thought. He said, my boss is from Derry, he thought it was hilarious, he told me he'd be out of action for 4 weeks. I had to laugh all the same.

So, the weekend started on Wednesday, ballet, The Nutcracker, then Metallica on Thursday, but you know all about that, Friday I met up with the Eagle and the 'Red one', the 'Red one' being Dave of course, dinner and drinks at Dave's place then we went out, out, out, to some band place where I used to live in Richmond and then ended up in Revolver.

The bouncer going into Revolver going in asked us:

Bouncer: 'What’s wrong with this scene?'

Me: There are no chicks

Bouncer: Go and get some chicks and then you can come in

We went off to another bar and came back when that closed, to Revolver minus the chicks

Bouncer: Where are you from?

Us: Ireland and Australia

Bouncer: We've had a lot of trouble with fellas from Ireland; tell me why I should let you in.

Me: I live in Fitzroy, he lives in Richmond

Bouncer: In you go

Note to reader: People in Fitzroy would nearly cut their arm off before they would venture to Prahran (where we were)

Great success!!

The Nutcracker/Metallica tendencies combination seems to intrigue people. One of the guys at the gym was telling me of a guy that he worked with at a call centre, he told me this.

'I once worked with a guy that was a full on head banger that was also a professional tap dancer and he sung for a very serious choir', now that makes my Metal ballet tastes seem bland, to say the least.

Continuing, so, as I do, on a Saturday, I got out of bed, my own and went for a stroll, out looking for hope, like the guy I once met in St Germaine in Paris, as I like to think, he was out looking for hope too, I saw my name in Japanese last week, it means

'The connection to prosperity and hope', very nice or so it seems?

So, Saturday, after scoring some business shirts in an opportunity shop, I made my way to Abbotsford, on the lure of 'free beer' to meet Dave to catch up. I got lost on the way, confused more than lost; it is hard to get lost in that area, I was hung over though.

True to Dave's promise, I got some free drinks, but they weren't free, Dave runs a tab, they went on that tab.

Now, not this kind of pool

Now, Dave rates himself as a pool player, the 3rd best in Collingwood, he was telling me about a guy that comes in a plays him for money. The previous week game was $1000, cash.

The guy put the money in a pint glass and said, 'Come on yea cunt', Dave played him and won, I had to laugh, the guy came in again, while I was there, they played again, Dave lost, but the funny thing was they were both REALLY crap, crap beyond belief, why you would play for money when you play like a monkey is anyone’s guess?

So, after a few Yagers and beers, I was feeling better, pizza's were ordered, I had some of that too and it was home time, costume change for me and off out to watch the Bulldogs V St Kilda AFL game in the Derby.


Bulldogs

The Bulldogs played for 1 quarter, as you might be aware, the game is made up of 4 quarters, if you don’t play for all the quarters, you lose. Was it a sporting issue or a mathematical one? It was hard to tell? They could have been really bad at their sums?

The bulldogs lost, bye bye Bulldogs, and you should never have got to the Semi final anyways. I said to some guy, 'Julia Gillard will be pissed off now, she'll probably go and press all the buttons', (The Prime Minister, Julia Gillard is a big Bulldogs fan)


Julia

Some guy said Julia Gillard can fu*k off', which she probably could have, when you think of it?

Geelong lost their game too, Metallica were waiting for them in their dressing room, not bad, I would have been over the moon.

I was talking to a trainer in the gym over the weekend, his mate was given an ESP guitar by Metallica, he showed me photos, his mate was the guy that promoted the show. He showed me the photos on his iPhone; some people have all the luck?

Anyways, your probably wondering, 'What was the point of reading any of that? What indeed? Read my friend Janet's post instead

Oh those 'Tallica boys!!!

Them 'Tallica boys were in town, I made it to the 2nd gig. I had an epic night, so I suppose I should share some of those moments with you.

So, 3 days ago I realised Metallica were playing a lot sooner than I though, the first night, I had a ticket for 'The Nutcracker' on Wednesday, so if you buy a ticket, you take the ride. Here's what happened on Thursday.


But first, rewind to Wednesday, lunch time, I dined with Mr Simon, I was just going in to Don Dons, he was cycling, before long we were eating.

Simons he's all grown up now, you can tell, here's the scene at Don Dons, he's trying (in vain) to justify why he wasn't going to go to the gig. He's seen them before, playing the old shit, yada, yada, yeah.

It was all nonsense to me, so I wont bother trying to recall any of it, not here anyways. It's strange how people grow up and become adults, but there you go? Give time, everyone will do it, I guess?
Now, if there is on thing that makes me feel like I’m 16, all over again it's Metallica, and what’s better than seeing Metallica? Metallica + a half a litre of Vodka being processed by your system of course!

So, before the gig, I was at my RPM cycling class. Now, apart from all the strenuous intensive interval cycling that I was doing, the most pressing thing was 'How do I go from the gym and get in a half litre of vodka and not be busted by cops, walking to the those living gods?'

And then it came to me, so I put the plan into action, I first bought the vodka and went to Hungry Jacks, in went and sez I, 'A meal deal and a large Coke please', the chick told me I could only have a medium, I said no, make it a big coke, the manager stepped in to assist her navigate the order console and I got it my way, we were clear for blast off! Outer space here I come!!!

So, munch, munch, big sip of coke, top up the cup with roughly 250 ml's of Vodka and I was in business, hello mean streets and I was off, strolling to see my gods, listening to Jay -Z telling me 'You cant knock the hustle', you sure cant, you got that right!


Anyways I got there, after a leisurely stroll by the Yarra, it's a bit romantic at night, city lights and all, bag search at the gates was non existent, I must have been pretty believable, who would go to the gym and bring alcohol to a gig? Who indeed?

I poured the water out of my gym water container, just to prove to the guys searching, I was 'Straight up' and there wasn't any 'tricks' and in went with a sweet concoction of Vodka and coke in a soft drink container, in my hand of course, it was even better inside when I bought beers and poured them in to the cup and went into the arena, you can bring soft drinks in, no alcohol, everyone else was stopped, I was on top of the world.
In fact the instructor at the gym was telling us to cycle harder and that after wards that feeling would be the best feeling we would have all night, obviously she wasn't going to Metallica, obviously?

So, after Fear Factory (who cares) Metallica took the stage, and I was over the moon. I have proof of this; the evidence is in my camera, about half a gig of pictures and videos. Pure bliss.
Jamez said we'll be back in 6 weeks Melbourne; it's some travelling, to bring all that stage and equipment, to New Zealand, Japan and back. I liked travelling 'light', some job lugging all that stuff, only 42 sleeps left and I get to see it all again and again. I got myself 2 tickets. I cant wait!!!

Have I become the running man?

The running man

So, I’ve started including running as part of my 'Diet', my fitness diet of course and I was stuck for something to write about, for you, the reader and I thought, well what did you do last night?


Legs with wheels?

Well I did some running after the intensive RPM cycling class, I woke up early this morning and did some more running too, but it was all in the gym of course, the machine was on a 3% incline, much better for your legs, and if you knew my legs, you'd know they need all the help they can get, and they got it, if they had wheels it would be better? But I guess I got to do the best with the cards I’ve been dealt? And I guess that's why I don’t play cards either?


After all my exercise last night, I went home and had nearly a whole bag of Salt and Vinegar chips, heaps of chocolate and it was almost enjoyable eating it, only because I knew there would be no excuses when I woke up, up and ATOM!!

A noble slave owner?

[Brain said] I'm gonna work that body...............like a slave owner.


So there is a video (watch it) I saw and I quite like, it's an Electronic music tune by the Utah Saints, called 'The running man', in the video, the guy is running, on the spot, others join in and I’m kinda running on the spot too. Other people run with me too, but it's not so flashy, fun or co-ordinated.
Armand Van Helden

The guy looks like Armand Van Helden, I don’t look a bit like Armand Van Helden, and do you see the similarities yet? No, neither do I? But, if you can see similarities.......well I have been going to the gym? That or you've gained enlightenment, probably thinking about salt and vinegar chips and chocolate?


But let us continue, it's working for me, the ruining that is, if I was to get an iPhone, it would be for one of the training apps you can get, very handy, you might be the most unpopular person in the world, but you'll get really fit and your phone bill will be cheap, sounds good, too good doesn't it?

                                                                             The Nutcracker

So, apart from all this I went to the ballet last night, 'The Nutcracker', a guy I work with told me he did the lighting for the show, a story I believed until I cornered him this morning and showed him the details of the cast and credits, he did not appear, his excuse, he did it in England for them, of course!

For his proof he showed me a picture of himself next to one of the rats, next to the fireplace, satisfied, he did something with the production, I dismissed myself and went about my business, which as usual was about 2/5 of Fu*k all.

No rats were hurt in this production

All in all, a busy day. As Eminem would say 'And that pretty much the gist of it, the parents are pissed but the kids love it.'

Eminem