I´ve been telling the people in the hostel about the walk (hike if your German, and you need hiking boots) if your not German Skater shoes will do and they did. Did i say i´m not German?
And to be totally honest, the whole time on the treck i was thinking ´I wish D. could be here to see this, she would love it´, very disappointing for me if truth be told, but i have to put a positive slant on it because no one will hug me or pick me up when i feel down, so i tell myself stories and i have a laugh, but it is a pity D. is not here to be D. I had such high hopes.
Nobody i meet compares to her, but i hope she is truly happy now, no doubt i will get over it. What is my option?
I was thinking for the first time in my life, i might activly start looking for companionship (the lady type)and maybe get a bit serious and maybe get back what i had with D with someone called Emer or Sarah (Sarah is one of my favourite names)
Maybe i will do all the things your supposed to do from dating (i fuckin hate the term date) to romance to proposing (might need to get divorced first :))
If i wasn´t already married to Joanne i would have proposed to D on the first week i met her, i knew i loved her after the first night and i remember thinking ´Wait a week before you tell her you love her, you don´t want to scare her off´
I know i should have followed my heart there and i just hope by writing it down it will get easier.
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